Chimera
by Ludub
Summary: Reid has been in a coma for the last 4 weeks, following an explosion when one of the cases they were working went wrong. The team have been waiting for him to wake up. When he finally does, something about their resident genius is a little 'different'. How will Reid's change in personality affect the team? What has Morgan been hiding, and can he continue to keep it a secret?
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay, so I'm new to writing Criminal Minds fanfic. Not sure I'm quite getting the characters right but hopefully I'll get better as I go along... Please let me know what you think.**

 **Title: CHIMERA**

 **Chapter 1**

 **i.**

Morgan walked into the room, carrying two takeaway cups of coffee and a paper bag with some pastries in it. He shook his head and gave a sad little sigh as he looked at the frail body lying there in the bed. Here he was, after all these weeks, still lying there with all those machines hooked up to him. He had a tracheotomy tube coming out of his throat, that was hooked up to a ventilator, and it was whooshing in and out with a slow and steady rhythm. His chest moved up and down in an unnatural robotic kind of way, like one of those dolls that people use to learn CPR. He didn't seem real. There were drips and urine bags, and all sorts of monitors attached, with tubes and wires coming out of everywhere. It was frightening to look at.

He grimaced a little when he thought about where some of those tubes went.

He hated having to be here and having to look at this, day after day. It brought back too many bad memories. Too many times he'd sat at the side of a loved one's bed, one of the team, wondering if they were going to make it, and beating himself up for all the things that he'd done wrong. Too many sleepless hours, running the case over in his head, and thinking of the many ways that this could have been prevented. ' _If we'd only done this… If we'd only done that_ …' Too much time spent in his own head… Sometimes he thought he was going to lose his mind.

He walked over to the bed and looked down at his friend.

"Hey, Pretty Boy" he whispered softly.

This was the man that he held as his best friend and the closest thing to a brother that he'd ever had. The team was a family, they all talked about that, but they fell naturally into roles that befit their age gaps. Hotch and Rossi were decidedly more father-like in their approach to him (even though there wasn't much age difference between himself and Hotch), and the dynamic with the girls was similar to having sisters, but Reid was like the little brother he'd never had. He wasn't just a work colleague. It was so much more than that. More than he really wanted to admit. He loved him. He _really_ loved him.

The thought that they might lose him now just about tore his heart out… but something worse was nagging at him too. His stomach churned and twisted at the thought of it. What if that big brain of his really had been damaged?! What if all the adorable things that made Reid 'Reid' were just gone, like he'd had a lobotomy? All his personality, all his knowledge, all his little quirks… What if they got him back but he just wasn't 'him' anymore?

They couldn't know for certain until he woke up.

He transferred the tray of coffee to the hand with the pastries in, so he could pull the bedcovers up a little. Instinctively, he knew that Reid wouldn't want him to see him like this. That he wouldn't want any of them to see him like this. Not with his shirt off. Not so exposed. He was always driven to cover him up a little, even if he knew that he was unconscious and wouldn't know the difference. The nurses and doctors, on the other hand, seemed to have very little concern for his privacy. Everytime he came in here, the covers had been arranged around his waist, leaving his scarred and skinny torso exposed with all the heart monitor stickers stuck everywhere. He hated that he could count every rib.

He'd lost so much weight, not that he'd had much to lose in the first place. He was pretty much skeletal now. His hair had grown back, at least enough to cover the scars on his head, so he was looking a little less scary. But he certainly didn't look like the Spencer Reid that they all knew and loved. His beautiful long brown hair was gone, gracelessly shaved to allow for emergency surgery, and the dark circles around his eyes were so much more pronounced, even visible around the gel pads that they'd placed there. What he wouldn't give for him to open those beautiful hazel eyes of his and look up at him now. He just looked so lifeless!

He turned to look at JJ who was huddled up in the chair beside Reid's bed. He gave a little sigh, and tilted his head at her in concern. She looked incredibly uncomfortable. He could see from the way that her head was angled that she was going to have a really sore neck, and her foot would probably have fallen asleep if she'd been in that position all night. How she always managed to find the most awkward positions, he would never know!

Sleeping in that chair was not a lot of fun though. He'd spent enough time there himself over the last few weeks to know that. He didn't understand why they couldn't provide something a little more comfortable for family members to sleep on. Who ever thought an armchair with wooden arms was a good idea?!

He knelt down in front of her, and gently touched her on the knee, trying not to startle her. "JJ?" he whispered, giving her knee a little shake. "JJ, wake up."

"Mmmm" she murmured, opening her eyes and rolling her head a bit to ease her stiffened neck. "Morning" she mumbled, stretching her arms above her head a little and giving him a little smile. She glanced past him for a moment at the body lying in the bed and gave a sad sigh. "That for me?" she asked, brushing the hair back from her eyes and nodding down at the cups of coffee in his hand.

"Milk, two sugars?" he said, handing one to her and looking up at her with big worried eyes. "You look exhausted!" he said, with a look of concern. She had big black circles round her eyes and was looking decidedly pale. "I mean it… you don't look good!"

"Thanks" she said, pouting at him a little mockingly. "Way to make a girl feel pretty!" she said, giving him a sarcastic smile as she took a sip of coffee.

"You know what I mean." he said, patting her gently on knee, "I'm worried about you… You look exhausted! You haven't had a real night's sleep in weeks…"

They all knew that JJ blamed herself for what had happened. It wasn't really her fault, he knew that now, but some small part of him had blamed her too. At least in the beginning. He'd yelled at her when they'd first got to the hospital and he'd said some things that he could never really take back.

He hated that part of himself, that hot-headed idiot who always lashed out when he was hurting. The guy who always had to find someone else to blame, just to quiet the voice in the back of his own head, that said, _'This is your fault, Derek… and you know it is!'_

He could see how much he'd wounded her. How she was still carrying his cruel words around with her like a stone around her neck… He'd tried apologising, but it didn't make any difference. The damage was done. Reid was the youngest on the team, and the most fragile. She should have had his back. She should have stopped him before he went in there! She really believed that Reid was here because of her. That was why she wouldn't leave his bedside. Why she wouldn't let the others stay the night.

"You can't keep doing this!" he said.

"Oh, and you can?!" she said, bristling a little, "You're here almost as much as me!"

"Yeah" he said, "But… I mean… I don't have a kid to look out for… You're burning the candles at both ends and… JJ? …Something's gotta give!"

She shook her head at him and pursed her lips together angrily.

"I can stay…" he said, "Why don't you go home, and get your head down for a while? …I'll call if…"

"You're not the only one that loves him!" she snapped at him, "I know you think you're like… this... this super human… Big strong Derek Morgan… and nothing can break you…"

"I don't think that" he said. If only she knew how scared and fragile he felt sometimes.

She smirked at him in a knowing sort of way, as though to say, _'yeah right!_ '

"I don't think that" he repeated a little more firmly, "But we have to help each other! You can't do this every night!"

She got up and walked over to the bed, lifting Reid's stiffened hand off the mattress and holding it in both hands. His chest rose and fell in rhythm with the suction of the ventilator but his face remained passive. They'd put some gel pads over his eyes to keep them from drying up and there were some swabs to soothe his sore and chapped lips.

"What about Henry?" he asked, looking at her pleadingly, "He needs you… and you know Reid wouldn't want you to…

"What if he wakes up and I'm not here?!" she asked, cutting him off mid sentence.

"JJ, c'mon?" he coaxed, "I'll be here! I'll stay… and the moment he opens his eyes, I'll call you and you can come straight back!"

He looked at her and thought how tired she looked. It was taking everything she had to hold things together day after day. He could see that she was on the verge of a meltdown right now and he just wanted her to go home and get some much-needed sleep, or at least a cuddle with that little boy of hers.

He stood up and crossed the floor to stand beside her.

"I promise, JJ! I won't leave his side… Let me call Rossi to come and get you."

Her chin began to tremble, and she started to blink, furiously trying to stifle her tears.

"Okay…" she said, wiping at her eyes with the sleeve of her top and nodding a little, more to herself than to him, "But just for a little while… I'm coming back in a few hours."

He put his arms around her, and pulled her in to give her a hug, feeling her body shake as she started to cry. She fell into his arms and rested her head against his chest, starting to sob.

"I'm just so tired!" she cried, holding him tight.

"You'll feel better when you've had some shut-eye." he said, kissing her on the top of the head. He took out his phone and texted Rossi to come get her.

 **ii.**

He sat in the armchair beside Reid's bed, listening to music on his phone with his earphones in, and desperately trying to ignore the sound of the machines whooshing and beeping. He hated this place.

'Come on, kid' he muttered under his breath, as he gave his hand a squeeze. He felt so cold, his hand so thin and frail. He had to swallow hard to shift the lump in his throat.

A song that he often listened to after a hard case came up on his playlist and he settled back in the chair with his eyes closed. Just as he was starting to relax, he felt a tiny movement of the hand held gently in his grasp. Not much more than a twitch, but it was there. He opened his eyes and sat staring at him. Had he really moved, or was it just his imagination?!

"Pretty Boy?" he said, getting to his feet and leaning on the bars on the side of the bed, "Can you hear me... Reid?"

He wondered if he'd been listening all this time. The nurses kept telling them to talk to him. That people in comas can often hear what the people around them are saying, and even if they can't understand the words, just having a voice that's familiar, that they can trust, can have a soothing effect. He'd spent the first week babbling about anything and nothing, but gradually he'd run out of things to say, and the thought that he was just talking to the wall began to take over. He'd lapsed into silence out of embarrassment, and settled for holding and stroking his hand. He made a point of using the antibacterial gel at the end of the bed because he knew how much Reid hated germs. That always made him smile a little.

"Reid" he whispered again, giving his hand a little squeeze, "Reid, it's me, Morgan."

He wasn't sure why, but he looked over his shoulder to make sure that no-one else was listening.

"I don't know if you can hear me…" he said, "Maybe you can hear me and you can't answer… If you're in there… If you're listening… C'mon? I love you man..."

He jumped when he felt Reid's hand flinch a little. He looked down at it and said, "Kid?! …Did you just move?!"

Nothing happened. He stared for what seemed like forever at the other man's hand.

"C'mon, Reid, move again?!" he pleaded with him.

Nothing…

But then the hand squeezed his!

His heart started to thump when he saw his eyes begin to move. He was clearly waking up!

"Reid!" he shouted excitedly, as he gently peeled the gel pads off his eyes. "Reid! Can you open your eyes?!" he asked, "Come on, Spencer, look at me?"

Slowly Reid's eyes began to flicker open, and his breathing started to sound choked and strange, as he fought against the suction of the ventilator.

"Help! I need a doctor in here!" shouted Morgan, as he hit the emergency call button. "He's waking up!"

 **iii.**

"Oh, my God!" squealed JJ as she ran along the corridor towards Morgan, with Rossi and Hotch lagging behind her. Garcia and Prentiss were on their way.

"I can't believe it!" she gasped, "…Is he talking?! …Is he okay?! …Can I go in?!"

Morgan caught her by the arm and shook his head.

"The doctors are in there with him…" he explained, "They said they'd let us know when we can go in."

She nodded, looking a little put out.

"Hey?" he said, flashing her one of his trademark smiles, "He's awake, JJ! …He's awake!"

She smiled and turned to look in through the glass in the door. She saw that a couple of doctors, and two nurses were fussing round Reid's bed, but she could already see that his eyes were open and that he was sitting up a little. Things looked hopeful!

"Oh, my God! He's actually awake!" she said, turning to Morgan and throwing her arms around his waist. "We can start to get him better now!" Tears were streaming down her cheeks.

"Okay, take a breath" he said, wiping at her tears with his thumbs. "Remember, we don't know yet what state he'll be in… y'know… it might take a while for him to be _him_ again."

She nodded and looked back through the door, watching as the doctor, took the blood pressure cuff off his arm and continued to move around the bed conducting other tests. Suddenly, one of the doctors began to look quite worried, furrowing his brow, and glancing at the door at the worried faces outside. He walked over and pulled down the blind, shaking his head at them apologetically.

"What's going on?!" asked JJ, looking around at the team with eyes wide and startled. "What's wrong?!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors note: Wow! Thank you so much Dextolan, Cherubim, Sunshine-Midnight123, and Pembie for the lovely reviews. I really appreciate them! Thank you also to all you lovely folk who decided to follow this story!**

 **I have categorised this as a Romance / Fantasy so you will have to suspend your disbelief a little bit for this next part, haha! I also don't have any medical background, so if the terminology isn't right, I apologise. I'm keeping it a little vague for that reason. I hope you enjoy it!**

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 **Chapter 2**

 **i.**

"Family of Spencer Reid?" called a thin nervous looking doctor, as he glanced around the waiting room.

The team had basically been living at the hospital, in between cases, so most of them were on first name terms with the ICU staff, especially Morgan and JJ. They could often be seen sitting around the waiting room with piles of paperwork and case files, and they'd even conducted a couple of briefings in a quiet area of the hospital canteen. The hospital staff had actually been very accommodating, probably a little awed at having the FBI take up camp there, and by the fact that they were largely an attractive bunch. Prentiss had even hit it off with one of the neurosurgeons, and Rossi had something going with one of the nurses. They'd settled in to all extents and purposes.

That was why it struck Morgan as a little odd that he didn't know this doctor. In all the time that Reid had been in here, this was the first time that he'd laid eyes upon him, not even in the hallways. The profiler on him was suddenly on alert.

"Spencer Reid?" the doctor repeated.

They all jumped to their feet, but Hotch took the lead and walked straight over to him.

"I'm Aaron Hotchner with the FBI's Behavioural Analysis Unit…" he said, holding his hand out to shake hands, "Dr Reid is a part of my team…" He motioned to the others standing behind him. "We've been waiting some time for someone to come and speak to us… I understand that he's awake? Can you tell us what's going on?"

"I really should speak to his next of kin" said the man. The team had crowded round him now and he was obviously a little unnerved. "A family member?" he ventured.

"We _are_ his family!" said Morgan, stepping forward a little threateningly.

"I'm named as his next of kin" said Hotch, holding a hand up in warning, to tell Morgan to back off, "I have medical power of attorney… We've been through this with the hospital administrators… They have all the paperwork."

"Very well" said the doctor, frowning a little, "I'm Dr Nash… I'm an attending Psychiatrist… If you could uh… follow me?"

"Whatever you have to tell me" said Hotch, "I'd like the team to hear it… We're the closest thing he has to a family."

"Okay" he replied, looking a little uneasy about the situation, "We'll go to the family room then…" He quickly counted the number of worried faces and then gave a curt little nod, "I think we should uh… all fit in there."

They followed him down the corridor and filed into the family room. One by one, they took position on one or other of the two grey sofas that were arranged to face each other. The three women took one of couches, and Rossi and Hotch sat on the other. Morgan perched on one of the arms at the far end, and watched as the doctor took his seat in the one remaining armchair. Again, he couldn't help wondering at the choice of furniture. It was like they'd purposely chosen the most uncomfortable sofas they could find, probably to make sure you didn't hang around too long.

Dr Nash waited for everyone to settle while he fidgeted nervously in his seat. He obviously had something to say to them but he didn't seem quite sure how to broach the subject.

"Okay…" he said, "So… Mr Reid…"

"Doctor" said Morgan.

"I'm sorry?" asked Dr Nash, not following.

"He's Dr Reid" he corrected him.

"Right" he said, sounding a little irritable, "Well, 'Dr' Reid has regained consciousness, as you all know… but…he uh… he seems to be in what we'd call an 'acute confusional state'."

"A what now?!" asked Garcia.

Her eyes met Morgan's and she gave a sad little smile. She knew what he was thinking. If Reid was here right now, he'd be telling them exactly what that was. She could just imagine him spouting definitions, as though reading it directly from a medical journal, and talking animatedly about genetic factors and the number of Americans affected every year.

"A confusional state?" asked Rossi, "Like a concussion?"

"No" said the doctor, "It's what we used to refer to as 'delirium'… Now we might call it an 'altered state'.

"Can he talk?" asked JJ.

"Yes, he's talking" said Nash, "I mean… he can talk when we cover the tracheotomy tube… He can whisper."

He motioned with two fingers to his neck to show how to cover the hole.

"That'll be removed in a day or two… It's just…" He paused, obviously struggling to find the right words. "It's just that he seems very confused. His speech is very delayed… and he's not giving… 'appropriate' answers to the questions that he's being asked."

"What do you mean 'appropriate' answers?!" asked Hotch, frowning at him, "You mean that his memory has been affected?!"

"It's not just a memory problem" said Nash, "More a case of an _identity_ problem."

Morgan gave him a very confused look. "Dr Nash?!" he said, "We're stressed enough about all of this! Can you stop dancing around whatever it is, and just tell us what we're dealing with?!"

"Okay, well… One of the standard questions to establish level of consciousness is 'what's your name? can you tell us your name?" he said, sitting forward in his seat and making his fingers into a sort of steeple shape, like a politician.

"And he can't answer that?!" asked Rossi, shooting Hotch a look of real concern. How could the 'boy genius' not answer such a simple question?! This couldn't be good news!

"He thinks he's someone else" said the doctor, cutting to the chase, "He's identifying as someone other than Spencer Reid."

"He what?!" exclaimed JJ, "Who does he think he is?"

"We asked him to tell us his name" said Nash, "And he told us his name was Penelope Garcia."

"What?!" gasped Garcia, snorting a little, "You're saying he thinks he's me?!"

"I'm afraid so" he said, gathering that she must be Penelope Garcia, especially from Reid's own description. The fifties style glasses were a dead giveaway.

"Well, that's just stupid!" she said, starting to get up. "He's just asking to see me!"

She started to move towards the door but Hotch caught her by the wrist and stopped her in her tracks.

"No, Garcia!" he warned sternly, and then gestured with his head for her to sit down again.

The doctor glanced at the looks of confusion on everyone's faces and gave a heavy sigh

"He's not asking to _see_ Penelope Garcia… He thinks he _is_ Penelope Garcia. He became very distressed when one of the nurses tried to convince him otherwise… He… um… He identifies as female."

Garcia looked at Morgan, and started to laugh incredulously, before looking back at the doctor in anger.

"This is ridiculous!" she snapped at him, "I mean… It's a joke, right?! Some kind of sick joke?!"

"No, ma'am…" he said, "I'm sorry, but it's not a joke... We asked him to describe himself… He said that he has long blonde hair, with bangs, and big brown eyes… Fifties style glasses..." He let out a slightly nervous laugh and said, "He's asking to see his friend 'Reid' who he called his 'delicious boy genius', and um… well…" He looked a little out of his comfort zone as he glanced nervously across at Morgan. "He's asking for his… his ' _Chocolate Adonis'_ of a boyfriend, a someone called 'Morgan' … I'm guessing that's a little out of character?"

"He thinks I'm his boyfriend?!" exclaimed Morgan, as he sat forward and looked at the doctor in shock. "What the… But… I…?!"

"Well he thinks you're Penelope's boyfriend… and he thinks that he's Penelope." said Nash, "So, yes… I believe he's asking for you."

Morgan looked at Garcia, and they both started to laugh, more out of nerves than anything else. "It's not funny." said Garcia, both laughing and crying. "…but it kind of is."

"But…" said Prentiss, who'd been shocked into silence until this point. "How… I mean… How does something like this happen?!"

"Well" said the Doctor, "I have to admit, this is a first for me… It's certainly… an interesting case!"

"He's not an _'interesting case'_!" sneered JJ, "He's our friend!"

"I'm sorry" said the doctor, "I didn't mean to offend anyone… Just that, clinically, it's the most pronounced case I've seen in nearly ten years of practice." He looked around the faces of the team and then settled on Hotch. "Now, you said you're with the Behavioural Analysis Unit?" he said, "So, would I be right in thinking that that would involve a great deal of empathy, and the ability to put yourself in the mind of another person? …To emulate their thought process? …Yes?"

"Yes" replied Hotch, "That is one of the key skills of a psychological profiler… "

"And I've been told that he possesses an eidetic memory" he continued, "…and an exceptionally high IQ?"

"Boy Genius can't forget anything" nodded Garcia.

"It may explain how he's created this alter-ego" said the doctor, "Latching onto someone close to him… Maybe admiring a quality in their personality that's not present in his… An act of self-preservation?"

"You mean Dissociative Identity Disorder?" asked Hotch, with a worried glance at Rossi, "He's developed a split personality?"

"I think it would be very premature for any kind of diagnosis like that…" said Dr Nash, "His brain is still showing some mild swelling… We won't know what kind of recovery he'll make until that resolves completely."

His mom has paranoid schizophrenia" muttered Prentiss, "Could that have anything to do with it?"

There was a notable tension among the team members as they waited for his answer.

"It's possible" he sighed, "…but it would be pretty atypical."

"Oh God!" gasped JJ, covering her mouth with her hand. Prentiss put her arm around her.

"As I said, it's too early for a diagnosis like that" he said, "Let's not get ahead of ourselves."

"Can we see him?" asked Hotch.

He couldn't help looking uneasy. His mind was already racing, as he imagined the conversation that he would have to have with his superiors, and wondered how he was going to safeguard the boy's job. Would someone with a history of mental illness still be allowed to stay with the BAU? Would there be any way of keeping this under wraps at least long enough for him to recover? And what if he didn't recover?! What would they do then?!

"Well, that's why we kept you waiting as long as we did." said Nash, "I contacted a colleague… to consult on this case… A leading authority on these types of… identity issues…"

He seemed to be choosing his words very carefully, obviously anxious about what their reaction was going to be.

"Dr Ramirez feels that this may be some sort of post traumatic psychotic episode and… with a bit of luck he may just return to normal… But… he thinks that it could be very traumatic for him if we were to try to force him to accept his true identity…" He looked at Garcia and said, "In other words… He wants us all to play along…"

"He what?!" said Hotch, stiffening as he looked at Dr Nash in shock and disgust. "How are we supposed to do that?!"

"We all have to treat him like he's Garcia… Like he's a young woman… and let him come out of this in his own time."

"This is ridiculous!" said Hotch, "I can't allow my team to…"

"Agent Hotchner" warned Nash, "I understand your concern… but I'm sure, in your line of work, you've seen what can happen when a person experiencing a psychotic episode is not handled with care… My colleague's advice is that we play along for now, and try not to upset him unnecessarily… He's flying down from New York next week to assess him himself."

"You want us to pretend that he's a woman?" asked JJ, "Or… y'know… pretend that he's Garcia?"

"Both" said Nash. He looked around at the bemused look on the faces of the team and gave a little sigh. "Is it much different from what you do on a day to day basis? I don't know a lot about what you do as a team, but from what I've been led to believe, it wouldn't be unusual for you to have to try to talk to… to people with mental health issues?"

"You think he's crazy?!" gasped Morgan.

"No, I don't" said Nash, "But right now, when he looks at himself, he doesn't see what we see… He sees a woman… and you telling him otherwise is just going to frighten him."

"Yeah, but…" said Morgan, looking a little embarrassed, "What happens when he goes to the toilet… and he sees… y'know?" he asked, motioning with his eyes to his own crotch. "I mean… don't you think he'll figure it out then?!"

"We'll have to wait and see." said Nash. "It's possible that this is very temporary… and yes… he could snap out of it in a few hours… but we can't force him." He sat back in his chair and gave a little shrug. "We think his perception is extremely 'altered' at the moment… We gave him a mirror and asked him to tell us what he saw… He said that he saw 'a sexy mama', with blonde hair, and brown eyes, that desperately needed her makeup kit' and he wasn't best pleased about having his hair cut short!"

He couldn't help chuckling a little at the thought of Reid in makeup like the woman sitting in front of him, but he managed to catch himself and disguise it as a cough.

"He really thinks he's me?" muttered Garcia under her breath as she stared off into the distance. She couldn't understand what was happening. She was nearly sure that this was just a bad dream or a cruel practical joke.

"So, you think he might not even notice the difference in the… uh…in the toilet department then?!" asked Morgan, shaking his head incredulously. "You think he's gonna look down and see… um… lady parts?!"

"Not just any lady parts apparently" muttered Garcia, "My lady parts… That's all kinds of freaky!"

She looked up at Morgan and as soon as their eyes met they began to laugh again involuntarily. This was just too weird!

"Morgan! Garcia!" scolded Hotch, "This is not funny!"

"I know that" said Morgan, straightening up and frowning.

"Sorry, sir" mumbled Garcia, as she looked down at the floor.

"What do we do now?" Hotch asked again, turning his attention back to the doctor, "Can we see him now?"

"Well, we'd like to see his reaction to you… Garcia." said Nash, "Would that be okay with you? We'd like to see if he can recognise you… or not… To be honest, we're not sure what will happen. I think it would be a good idea if Morgan comes too."

Morgan looked a little startled and began to shake his head. His heart was hammering in his chest at the thought of going in there. He wondered if they could tell how much blood had suddenly rushed to his cheeks. His face was on fire with embarrassment.

"But… but he thinks I'm his boyfriend!" he stammered, "How am I meant to deal with that?!" He wasn't sure that he could play along with this.

Garcia turned to him and looked up at him with big teary eyes.

"Please, Derek?!" she pleaded, "Please?! …Just play along? Whatever it takes… I don't want to go in there on my own… I need you with me!"

He looked at the desperation on her face and he knew that he couldn't say no to her. He took a big breath and blew it out slowly. "Okay, Baby Girl…" he said, smiling in a very nervous way and getting to his feet with her. "But this is all kinds of messed up!"

 **ii.**

Garcia walked slowly into the room, with Morgan trailing nervously behind her, and she smiled at Reid, who seemed to be dozing propped up in a semi-sitting position. She let go of Morgan's hand, and made her way over to the side of Reid's bed.

"Hey" she said softly, touching his hand and starting to tear up. "Hey, you?!" she said again, a little louder this time.

Reid's eyes flickered open and he turned his head slowly to look at her. He opened his mouth to speak and jumped a little at the strange whistling wheezing sound that came out through his tracheotomy tube. He looked confused by the noise and stared all around him as though he wasn't sure where it had come from.

Garcia remembered what Dr Nash had said about blocking the tube, so she put two fingers over the circular plastic opening in his neck, and nodded at him to try speaking again.

"Heeeyyy" he slurred, in a quiet whispery voice. "I'm… sssso… hhhappy to… sssee you" he said, incredibly slowly, as though he was speaking in slow motion.

Her eyes filled up with tears and she picked up his hand and gave it a little kiss. "I've missed you so much!" she cried, gently caressing the side of his face. "We all have! We love you so much…" She started to say _'precious baby genius'_ but caught the words before they left her mouth. "We thought we'd lost you!" she cried.

He started to move his mouth again, so she covered the trach tube for him. "Never" he wheezed, shaking his head a little. "I love you too… R-Reid."

She gasped and took her hand away, glancing across the room at Morgan, wide-eyed in shock. She pointed at herself and mouthed the word 'Reid', shaking her head at him in wonder. Reid thought that they'd swapped places! He was Garcia, and she was Reid! She wondered what on earth he was actually seeing?!

Reid followed her gaze, and suddenly smiled from ear to ear when he laid eyes on Morgan. He started making a loud whistling-gurgling sound again, and tried to lift his hand to cover the tube himself, but he was too weak. Garcia turned back, now with rivers of tears flooding down her cheeks, and plugged the tube in his neck again for him.

"Therrrrre's… my… Chocolate God… of Thunder!" he whispered slowly, with a big smile and teary eyes.

Morgan looked at Garcia with eyes wide with fear.

"Morgan! … _She_ needs you!" growled Garcia, motioning with her head for him to come closer. "You've missed _her_ , haven't you?" she said in a very deliberate way.

Morgan shook his head at Garcia fearfully, but hesitantly made his way over to the bed, and reached for Reid's hand. There was a whirlwind of emotions raging inside him and a large part of him wanted to run away. He wondered if she could tell how fast his heart was beating? He felt ridiculous! What was he, anyway?! A teenage boy?!

"Hey" he said softly, "How you feeling… b-baby girl?"

He was doing his best to talk to him in exactly the way that he would if it was Garcia lying in this bed. He glanced at the real Garcia in embarrassment, and then looked back at Reid, who was struggling to speak. He sighed and reached out to cover the tracheotomy tube for him.

"I love… y-you" whispered Reid, as he gazed at Morgan with eyes full of tears. He looked so scared and confused, and Morgan felt his heart ache for him. "K-kiss me?" asked Reid, in a weak sort of way.

Morgan looked at Garcia, eyes wide and frightened, desperately hoping for her help. She nodded at him insistently, and then motioned with her head at Reid, making it clear to him that she wanted him to play along. He looked back at Reid, and just about managed to get the words out, feeling that this really wasn't right. On some level, it felt like he was making fun of him, and he didn't want that.

"I l-love you too" he stammered to Reid, with his face burning hot with embarrassment. He leaned in and tentatively kissed him on the forehead, wishing that the ground would open up and swallow him. This was so uncomfortable! What on earth was going on?!

His heart skipped a beat when Reid raised a shaky hand and weakly tapped his own lips. It was clear that he wanted a real kiss.

He glanced again at Garcia, but she just nodded at him rather insistently. She was telling him to do it!

Nervously, he moved lower and pressed his lips quickly, lingering on his mouth only for a moment. A chaste kiss. Soft and tender.

Reid smiled and closed his eyes again. He looked absolutely exhausted. Garcia smiled at Morgan, tilting her head at him sympathetically, and mouthed the words "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

Morgan shook his head, and went out into the hallway, crouching down outside the door. His heart was hammering painfully in his chest and he felt like he might be sick. He wondered how he was going to play along with all of this?

They all wanted him to go along with it for Reid's sake, and he knew deep down that there was nothing that he wouldn't do for that man. They didn't even really have to ask. But how far would they expect him to take things? He knew that he was venturing into incredibly dangerous territory, and possibly unleashing a part of himself that he'd kept carefully hidden away, and buried deep inside.

That right there, was the first time that he'd ever said 'I love you' to anyone… The painful part was that he'd actually meant it. He _did_ love Reid. He'd always loved him. It was something that he fought to push to the back of his mind every day. Something that he chose to ignore, because he knew that the object of his desires would never reciprocate his feelings. He was pretty sure that Reid was straight.

As for himself, no-one knew that he was gay. He'd spent a lifetime crafting a 'playboy' persona and convincing everyone that he was taking a different woman home every night. In truth, he hadn't had more than a couple of drunken fumbles in years. There was always an element of guilt and self-loathing for him when it came to sex, probably a legacy of the abuse that he'd suffered as a child. And as for men, he'd shut those feelings down a long time ago. He'd learnt his lesson back in high school, and never allowed himself to explore those feelings ever again. Maybe it was cowardice, and maybe it was self-preservation… but Reid was the first man that he'd allowed himself to think about in that way.

And now he felt…

He didn't know what he felt…

And that scared him…

Had he just told him he loved him?! Had he just kissed him?!

He'd imagined saying those words to Reid in many different ways. Imagined kissing him. Daydreamed about it all the time… but he never could have imagined it playing out like this! Not in his wildest dreams! Never in front of Garcia. And definitely not when he was lying in a hospital bed, and under the misguided delusion that he was a woman! No-one could have predicted that!

This whole thing really scared him. What if he got in too deep with all this make-believe and play-acting, and gave himself away? What if everyone found out about him? And what if he ended up getting hurt? Or worse, what if Reid came to his senses and thought that he'd been ridiculing him?! He couldn't bear to hurt him! This was a nightmare!

A pair of feet appeared in front of him, tidy black shoes and well-tailored pant legs, and then he felt a hand gently squeeze his shoulder. He looked up into concerned brown eyes, much softer and understanding than he'd been expecting.

"How did it go?" asked Hotch, "That can't have been easy for you."


	3. Chapter 3

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay… so here's chapter 3! Thanks to Dextolan, Pembie and tannerose5 for your lovely comments! Really glad you're enjoying it. To anyone else who is reading this, any feedback (good or bad) would be very much appreciated. Anything at all? Yay or nay?**

 **Chapter 3**

 **i.**

"I keep thinking that I'm gonna wake up and this whole thing will just have been a bad dream" said Garcia, resting her head on her hand.

It was the first time in weeks that she and Morgan had had the opportunity to spend some time together that wasn't in Reid's hospital room. Despite that, they'd only gone as far as the hospital canteen, and neither of them really had an appetite.

"This is just too weird!" she sighed, prodding angrily at her uneaten pasta with a plastic fork.

"Weird?!" snorted Morgan, "I just kissed Reid… and I mean, _kissed_ kissed him! …On the lips!" He felt himself blushing and began to laugh a little nervously. "Mama, you don't need to tell _me_ how weird this is!"

He lifted a slice of pizza and took a bite, but his stomach was full of nerves, so he set it down again. He blew out a big breath and reached for his cup of coffee. His hand trembled a little, and he looked a little embarrassed when he saw that Garcia had clocked it. She leaned across and put her bejewelled hand on top of his.

"Hey, come on?" she assured him, "No-one's gonna think you're gay… If… y'know… if that's what you're worried about? …Your player image?"

"You think I'm that insecure?!" he asked, in a mock offended tone.

"No, course not" she smiled, "But I get why it's… a little outside your comfort zone… y'know… after…"

She gave him a meaningful look that said _'I'm not going to actually say 'Carl Buford', but we both know why kissing a man might make you uncomfortable.'_

He shifted a little in his chair, clenching his jaw, as an uneasy tension settled in his shoulders. She didn't even need to say the man's name to set off a whirlwind of unpleasant memories in his head. They were always there, lurking in the background… Never too far from the surface. Hotch had spoken to him briefly with similar concerns and even offered to help him take a step back if he needed to, but that had just made him feel guilty. Kissing Reid had indeed made him uncomfortable, but not for the reason that they obviously thought it had.

"…but it's not like it's just any guy" she continued, "I mean… this is my sweet little Baby Cakes…"

He smirked a little at her pet name for Reid.

"I mean, isn't it…?" she said, unsure of how to put it, "I don't know, he's just so… innocent… He's like… a little puppy?"

"He's a grown man" said Morgan, sounding a little defensive on his behalf, "He's 26 years old!"

He knew how much Reid hated the way the team babied him, even if he was probably just as guilty of it himself. Maybe more so than anyone.

She looked a little offended and he shook his head at her in a way that said _'Don't mind me, I'm just tired!'_

"What am I gonna do?" he asked, putting both elbows on the table and rubbing his head with both hands, "I mean… I can't really keep pretending to be his boyfriend, can I?!"

"I think you're gonna have to!" she said, biting her bottom lip in a nervous sort of way, "I know this is really weird… and awkward… and messed up… But he really thinks that he's me… and for some reason he thinks we're together…"

She blushed a little and looked down at the table. She didn't know why Reid had incorporated _that_ particular detail into his delusions. They obviously weren't together, and Reid knew that… Not that she would have minded an alternative reality where that were true. The faces of their beautiful future babies flashed through her mind and made her heart ache. However much she liked to pretend that they were just very close friends, the thought of writing ' _Mrs Penelope Morgan'_ on anything made her heart flutter… She shook herself a little and looked up at him again.

"If he thinks he's me" she continued, "…and you're his boyfriend …Then he _needs_ you… If it was me in there, and I was lying there in that bed… all scared, and hurt really bad, and not able to move? Then you'd be the one person that I'd want to see… more than anyone else in the world!" She looked at him pleadingly, with big teary eyes. "Please?! Please, Derek?!" she begged, "…You need to do this for him! …No matter how weirded out you get…"

"Hotch wants to send me to L.A." he sighed, "He thinks it's gonna get too complicated… That I'm overstepping the mark with this whole 'boyfriend thing'… and he's probably right… He offered to tell Reid that I've been called away on a case until things blow over…"

She crossed her arms across her chest and shook her head at him in a disappointed way. It was her 'mother hen' scolding pose, and he knew it all too well.

"And what are we supposed to tell him?!" she challenged, "That his boyfriend just walked out on him while he was lying in a hospital bed?! That _Derek Morgan_ , the most loyal man that any of us has ever met, just left? Just got up and left when his… his _girlfriend_ needed him?! When we all know that if Derek Morgan cares about you at all, he'd never walk out on you… Not ever!"

She twisted one of the rings on her finger and gave a sad sigh.

"If that was me, Derek?! Do you have any idea how heartbroken I'd be?!"

"So… what?!" he asked, looking at her in an exasperated sort of way. "How do you see this playing out?! …I mean… How far do you all expect me to go?!"

He felt an involuntary little flutter in his stomach at the mere thought of taking things further than that tender little kiss. He desired it more than anything, but it also made him feel guilty. What right did he have to think about his friend that way? His friend who trusted him? How many times had he fantasised about running his hands all over Spencer's soft skin? How many times had he found himself looking at the man and wondering what it would be like to make him moan and writhe from pleasure? How many times had he zoned out in a briefing, wondering what kind of sounds the genius might make when he orgasmed? How many times had he wished that he could wake up in the morning to find that beautiful sensitive man beside him in his bed? He wanted all of it so badly it made his heart hurt, but he couldn't help feeling ashamed of himself too. How could he think about Dr Spencer Reid in that way?! When he wouldn't want him to? What would Reid think of him if he knew?!

"Baby Girl…" he groaned, with a look of embarrassment, "What if he wants to,y'know _… take it further_?"

"He just woke up from a coma!" she scolded, "He can barely move! …He can't walk …He can't even lift his arms! …Do you really think he's in any fit state to be jumping into bed with someone?!"

He shrugged at her, still looking very uncomfortable with the whole thing.

"Maybe" he conceded, "…But he might want to be… _affectionate_? …What am I supposed to do then?!"

"He won't" she assured him, "Besides, it's just a little kissing…"

He winced a little at her choice of words. Carl Buford had used exactly those words before he'd…

He pushed the thought away as quickly as it had come to him, but it left him with a deeply unsettled feeling. He supposed that Buford had probably spent his days fantasising about him too. Maybe he'd been more messed up by the abuse than he'd realised? Was it normal to have sex-fantasies about someone who would never want to sleep with you?

"I mean…?" he asked, staring down at the table a little miserably, "What if he thinks I'm like _him_? …Like _Buford_?"

"Oh honey!" she cried, throwing her arms around him and pulling him into a tight hug, "Reid would never think that, and you know it!"

"Maybe not" he sighed, "…But he's not himself right now, and he doesn't know what he's doing… What if I play along with this whole thing and he ends up thinking I took advantage of him or something?"

"Of course, he won't!" she assured him, still holding him in her arms, "…He'll know that you were only doing what Derek Morgan does best… Taking care of the people he loves!"

He sighed a little and gave into the hug. ' _If only he knew how much I love him'_ he thought to himself a little sadly.

 **ii.**

"Okay" said the Doctor, smiling at Reid in a kind and gentle sort of way. "That's the trach out… and we've bandaged up the stoma, so why don't you try talking? …Go ahead… say something?"

"Whherrrre's Der-ek?" he asked, slurring his words and looking back and forth between JJ and Hotch. There was a slightly hurt expression on his face. "Whheerrrre is he?"

JJ gave Reid's hand a little squeeze, as she sat on the side of his bed, and stroked what little hair he had behind his ear. "He's gonna come in to see you later" she said, "Don't worry, he'll be here as soon as he can!"

The doctor seemed pleased with his progress, making a few notes on his medical file, and then making his excuses to leave.

"Well, that wasn't so bad" said JJ, "Was it?"

Reid looked down at the hospital gown that he was wearing and took in all the wires coming out the neckline. They'd filled him in on all his injuries, and while he was upset about the burns on his abdomen, he'd been assured that they probably wouldn't scar too badly once they'd fully healed. He was more upset about having his head shaved. And the fact that he had hairy legs! He eyed the cannula in his hand with disgust, and lifted his other hand with great effort to touch the bandage on his neck. His eyes started to fill with tears and he turned to look at JJ.

"I looook awful, dddon't I?! …That's… w-why… Derek isn't here, isn't it?! …I sssssaw… how he… looked at me yesssssterday"

Tears were streaming down his face and his chin was trembling as he tried not to cry.

"Thhhhey… cut my hair, JJ! …and I look… dis-gusting!"

"No, you don't!" she replied, caressing the side of his face. "Honey, you're not disgusting!" she said, tilting her head at him with a sympathetic smile, "You're beautiful!"

Hotch sat on the end of Reid's bed, and glanced at JJ, looking very uncomfortable. She widened her eyes and him and motioned with her head for him to say something to Reid.

"You look fine, Garcia" he mumbled, "I'm sure Morgan will be here soon."

Reid turned to JJ and whispered to her, "I nnneeeed… my… makeup, JJ… Can you g-get it …fffor me? …I don't want… that gorgeous man of mine to sssssee me… like this!"

JJ laughed involuntarily, and then started to cough, trying to hide her amusement.

"I'll ask Prentiss to bring it in for you" she said, giving him a little smile.

Reid looked at his hands and tried to move his fingers, but the movements were slow and laboured, and incredibly clumsy. He gave a big sigh of frustration, dropping his hands again, and starting to cry.

"I'm…" he started to say, "I'm… ssssoooo… I can't do anything!... How am I g-going to type… if I can't move my fingers?"

"Hey" said JJ, putting her arm around his shoulder and leaning her head in against his. "You'll be okay! …You're just a bit weak! You've been asleep for a long time and your muscles just have to remember how to do things… You'll get there!"

"Mm tired" he cried again, and JJ wiped the tears gently from his eyes. "Everything fffeeeels strange."

"Do you want to take a nap?" asked JJ, giving his shoulder a little squeeze. "We can go away for a little while if you want some peace and quiet."

He nodded and looked at JJ again with big teary eyes.

"Can you get… me ssssome pyjamas?" he asked her, tilting his head at her with a pained expression on his face. "Ssssome… of my own clothes? …I just fffeel so… ugly in these!"

He pulled at the gown he was wearing and looked down inside it. Glancing at Hotch for a moment, with a look of embarrassment, he whispered to JJ, "I nnneed some… underwear too… I just feel so… _unsupported_."

JJ glanced at a very disturbed looking Hotch, and gave him a little smile. He'd already voiced his disapproval about this whole thing, and was finding it hard to bite his tongue. How was this helping Reid in any way?! How would the boy feel when he came to his senses and discovered that he'd been behaving this way?!

"No problem" said JJ, wondering where they'd find some suitably 'Garcia-style' bras for someone who was essentially flat-chested, and whether Reid would notice that the bras were slightly less accommodating than what he felt he needed?

"We'll go and get you some things" she said, taking her phone out to text Garcia, "And we'll come back in an hour or two… okay?"

Reid nodded and pressed the button to lower the bed. It was obvious that he was still in pain and that he was also completely exhausted. He lay back and closed his eyes.

"Okay honey" said JJ, getting up to leave, "You have a little sleep and we'll be back in no time."

She shook her head at Hotch, wide-eyed in wonder, and motioned for him to come with her out into the hallway.

"Okay, bye… _Garcia_ " said Hotch, finding it hard to get the word out of his mouth. He felt so strange calling him by that name. This just seemed so surreal. He was nearly sure that someone was going to jump out at any moment and tell him that this was all a joke.

As they walked out together, they heard Reid call out for JJ, so she spun around and stuck her head back through the door.

"Yeah, sweetie?" she asked.

"Can you bring the stuff before… Derek comes?" he pleaded, with an anxious look on his face, "I wwwant to look …nnnice for… him."


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, so new chapter! Thank you to Juna Izumi, Queenmancilla13, Pembie, King of Spiders, and Dextolan for the very kind comments! I really appreciate each and every one of them! You guys are great! I hope you like this one!**

 **Chapter 4**

 **i.**

 _'Okay… You can do this'_ whispered JJ, as she stood outside Reid's room. She'd been psyching herself up for this for at least twenty minutes now and trying to figure out how she was going to do this. ' _C'mon, Jennifer?!'_ she'd said again, _'It's just a little makeup… that's all… you can do this!'_

She glanced in through the door, making sure not to be seen, and looked at Reid. He was just sitting there, staring around him, all wide-eyed and innocent, and scared... She'd never seen him look so lost.

"Hey, you!" she called out, giving Reid a huge smile as she finally walked through the door.

She had Garcia's bright pink, flower patterned gym bag with her, a far cry from the type of bags the rest of the team used as their 'go bags'. It looked a little out of place in her hands.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, cocking her head to one side.

"W-what happened?!" gasped Reid, as he caught sight of her bandaged arm.

He hadn't seen it earlier because she'd been dressed for work, and she'd had her suit jacket on. Now that she was dressed in a T-shirt and a pair of jeans, he could see that her arm was bandaged from the wrist all the way to the shoulder. It looked pretty serious.

"Oh god! …JJ…" he sighed, eyes wide with worry, "I'm… sssoooo sorry!"

She shrugged and set the bag down on the bed by his feet.

"Hey… It's nothing!" she said with a little smile, "It uh… It happened in the explosion… The same one where you were injured"

His eyes flicked up to meet hers and his bottom lip began to tremble.

"N-no-one will tell me w-what happened" he said, "I-I don't remember… I mean… How… how did I end up in an explosion?"

"Oh, Sp…" she began to say, but caught herself before the name slipped out. She sat down on the side of his bed and reached out to caress the side of his face. "The doctor says you have to remember by yourself" she said, with a sad little half-smile, "But… I can tell you that there was an explosion and you got thrown across the room… You hit your head." She picked his hand up and helped him to raise it up to his head to feel the scar.

He winced a little when he felt the shape of the scar on his scalp. It was a little like the seam on a baseball, extending from his hairline, in a sort of curve, and finishing just behind his ear.

"Oh god!" he groaned.

"You had surgery" she explained, "You were unconscious for a few weeks…"

"But…" he said, allowing her to place his hand back on the bed, "But… JJ… I need to know what happened…"

"I know, sweetie" she said, "But it'll come back… You'll remember."

Flashes of a smoke-filled warehouse, and burning debris, flashed through her mind but she pushed the images away as quickly as they came to her. She wasn't going to let him see how much it had affected her.

"Why can't you just t-tell me?!" he whined, "I don't understand?!"

She frowned a little. She couldn't tell him the real reason. How could she tell him what had happened without confusing him even more? The truth would mean telling him that he was Reid, and not Garcia, and the doctors had warned them at great length against doing that. She wasn't sure how to handle this. _'Treat him like an Unsub'_ she said to herself, feeling guilty for even having that thought, _'Someone having a psychotic break who needs me to talk them down…'_

"Do you trust me?" she asked, reaching for his hand and clasping it between both of hers. She looked in his eyes in a searching kind of way. What she wouldn't give to have Spencer look back at her. To see a spark that said _'I'm still in here!'_

"I… I do" said Reid, nodding and starting to cry, "You know I do, JJ… I just… I… I n-need…"

"You _have_ to trust us" she said, giving his hand a little squeeze, "You can do that, can't you Sweetheart? …You know we love you and we would never do anything to hurt you… Not ever… There's a reason I can't tell you, a good reason, but I need you to accept that and not ask me… You know there's always a good reason for everything we do, but we can't always share that reason until… until it's over… You _know_ that…"

He stared at her in a thoughtful sort of way, as though slotting the pieces of information together.

"U-until… Until it's over" he repeated, not as a question, but as a sign of acquiescence. He nodded a little and stared down at his bedsheets.

She couldn't help smiling a little. Maybe the old Spencer was still in there after all?

"I've really missed you, y'know?!" she said, as tears shone in her own eyes, "…It's been so hard dealing with all of this without you."

He nodded, and squeezed her hand as best he could. He was still very weak.

"I'm ssorry." he said, still slurring a little, "But at least you had Reid… and… everyone else…"

She gave an exasperated little laugh and wiped again at her tears as she nodded. "Not the same without you, Garc…"

He smiled for a moment, but then his brows knit together in a worried little frown.

"Does it… h-hurt?" he asked, staring at her arm.

"Not anymore" she laughed, letting go of his hand to wipe at her tears again, "But I'm not the one lying in this bed! Why are you always more worried about other people than yourself?!"

She grimaced a little, realising that she'd been unconsciously talking to Reid, and not Garcia. Not that that sentiment wasn't also true of her.

He shook his head a little incredulously, and then looked down at his own skeletal semi-paralysed body. "W-we're quite… the p-pair… aren't we?!" he laughed.

She giggled a little and nodded in agreement. Turning to get the bag from the base of the bed, she set it down in front of her and started to unzip it. Reid smiled an excited smile when he saw the contents of the bag. He could see flowery and glittery materials inside and the purple fluffy makeup bag that Garcia kept her makeup in. JJ reached in, and pulled the bag out.

"So!" she said, with a decisive little pat on his leg, "You wanted to look nice for Morgan coming in…"

Reid's eyes filled with tears, and he nodded, giving her a grateful smile. He hung his head a little.

"I just fffeel so ugly!" he whispered.

"Sweetie, you're not ugly!" she assured him, "And don't let Morgan ever hear you say that!"

He smiled shyly and looked down at the bedsheets.

"You're not ugly, sweetie…" she said again firmly, "You could never be ugly!"

He hung his head and started to cry and she found herself leaning in to give him a hug. It was a little awkward because of the angle, but he allowed her to pull him close and rock him a little.

She couldn't help thinking that this was one of the weirdest things that she'd ever had to deal with. Part of her wanted to laugh because of how ridiculous this was, but another part could see that this was truly heart-breaking. He genuinely thought that he was a woman, and all he wanted was to feel pretty for his boyfriend! Any woman could understand that!

She reached in the bag and pulled out the new pyjamas that she and Garcia had bought for him. They were a pair of extremely girly pyjamas, something similar to what Garcia would wear herself, but obviously a good few sizes smaller. They'd gone to the 'Long Tall Sally' store to buy them. There was also some underwear that they'd done their best to get in sizes that would fit him.

Reid looked at them and gave a relieved little sigh.

"Th-thank you" he said, trying to lift his hand to pick them up. He gave a frustrated little huff, when his hand wouldn't do what he wanted it to, and gave up.

"Can you… hhhelp…" he asked, with a shy little smile, "Help me p-put them on?"

JJ looked decidedly worried. It wasn't like it was something she'd never seen before but she knew how embarrassed the real Reid would feel about this. He wouldn't want to get undressed in front of her under any circumstances, so she had no doubt that she should refuse.

"I'm not sure…" she said, "I… I think we'll need to get a nurse? …Honestly …I …I'm not sure I can move you on my own."

Reid peered down at his own body, looking very depressed at the realisation that she was probably right. He could hardly lift his arms, so he wouldn't be able to help her much with the changing.

"Y-yeah… okay" he said, nodding sadly. "That… that's okay…"

"C'mon!" she said, opening the makeup bag and pulling out an array of tubes and tubs and makeup brushes. Part of her was kind of excited about this. What girl doesn't want to put makeup on their male friends just for the fun of it? And if it helped to cheer him up, then all the better.

"I might not be able to help you get changed…" she said, "But I can do your makeup! Right?! Let's make you feel a bit better, shall we?!"

 **ii.**

Reid sat in the bed waiting for Morgan to walk through the door. He was so nervous he could feel his heart racing a little and his palms were sweating. _'It's just Derek'_ he said to himself, _'Your Chocolate Adonis… The man you love… and who loves you… Calm down!'_

He plucked a little nervously at his new pyjamas and gave a relieved little smile. JJ had got a nurse to come in and help him get changed, and he was feeling much better now that he was wearing something a little more feminine. The bra was helping too. He just felt a little more 'himself' and more able to deal with seeing Morgan.

He glanced at the doorway again before nervously lifting the little compact mirror that JJ had left for him. He angled it without lifting it, just enough to see his face. He gave a sad little smile. It wasn't great, but JJ had done her best with the makeup, and it was definitely an improvement! He sighed at the sight of his short blonde hair that they hadn't been able to do much with, and his tired and sunken brown eyes, but he couldn't stop the smile that curled at the side of his mouth when he saw the dark pink lipstick on his lips. JJ had bought it for him as a gift and it was a very pretty colour. He just hoped that Morgan would think so too.

He glanced at the clock on the wall. It was just before 9pm, so he knew that Morgan would be there soon, but time seemed to be ticking past incredibly slowly. Rossi had popped in around dinner time to bring him some homemade food, (a lasagne he'd whipped up himself), and to check that he was okay. Reid had come in too for a while, which he'd thought was nice, but he did wonder why the young genius had been acting so strangely. Baby Cakes had been decidedly standoffish, which he couldn't quite understand, and he'd just kept staring at him. It was very weird!

After they'd left, he'd just sat there fidgeting nervously, and glancing at the door every time someone walked past. He couldn't figure out why he was so nervous about this. Morgan was his boyfriend after all, and he knew in his heart that Morgan still loved him, no matter what he looked like. At least he hoped that he did!

It was just that he felt so unattractive and vulnerable lying here in this bed, and Morgan seemed to have done a disappearing act since yesterday, which wasn't doing much to build his confidence. He just wanted to see him again, and kiss him, and know that things hadn't changed.

He looked at the clock on the wall again, and saw that Morgan was already ten minutes late. He started to get even more nervous. Maybe he wasn't coming after all?!

He wondered if something had happened in the weeks that he'd been asleep, and maybe that was why Reid had been looking at him so strangely. Maybe Morgan had cheated on him, and had a new girlfriend now, but maybe everyone was too scared to tell him? Maybe that was why he hadn't wanted to kiss him yesterday?! Maybe that was why he wasn't here now?!

The thought absolutely terrified him, and he stared at the doorway, willing Morgan to appear. He needed his Chocolate Thunder more than anything right now!

 **iii**

Morgan stood in the waiting area just down the corridor from Reid's room and leaned against the wall trying to get his nerves under control. He didn't know how he was going to do this! Garcia had come as far as the entrance of the hospital with him but then she'd left him on his own! The team had agreed that he had to go in there on his own. Garcia couldn't be the third wheel in this messed up relationship if she was supposed to be Reid. The new 'Garcia' and Morgan needed some time on their own to sort things out!

He'd made his way up to the floor that Reid was on as slowly as he possibly could. Now that he was here, he was stalling out in the hallway, and dreading the moment that he had to walk in there. This was an absolute nightmare! He'd promised everyone that he would do his best to play along with this, but none of them understood how hard this was going to be for him. They all thought it was simply a matter of acting, and playing the part of the doting boyfriend. They didn't know that he didn't have to act. They didn't know that his feelings for Reid were real. They couldn't know that this was breaking his heart.

"Okay, you can do this!" he said to himself, under his breath. "It's no big deal… Just a couple of guys hanging out… Nothing has to happen…"

He walked up the hallway and dithered outside the door again for a moment. "Okay, come on!" he growled at himself, "Get it together, Derek!" He blew out another big breath and walked through the door with a big smile plastered on his face, hoping that it wouldn't look fake.

"Hey, Baby Girl!" he called out, "H-how you feeling?"

He did his best to hide his shock. They hadn't warned him about the makeup and the clothes, so the sight of Reid sitting there in 'Garcia style' makeup threw him a little… just for a moment. It had to be said, JJ had done his makeup quite tastefully, and had even styled his hair into a very feminine pixie type hairstyle. The little butterflies at the sides were very Penelope and that made him smile a little more. Weirdly enough, he didn't look unattractive. Maybe a bit odd… but sitting there in his girly pyjamas, he was even a little bit cute… in a slightly disturbing way.

"How are you, sweet cheeks?" he asked.

"Morgan!" exclaimed Reid, smiling sweetly, and struggling to lift his hand to hold out to him. "I've… m-missed you!" he said, tearing up a little, "I …n-n-need you here."

Morgan took his hand and leaned in to kiss him on the forehead again. The words _'This is so weird!'_ repeated endlessly, over and over in his head, and it was taking everything he had to hold it together. He wanted to laugh. He wanted to cry… He wanted to run away.

He looked down at Reid's big sad eyes and tried to think how he'd behave if this really was his boyfriend… He needed to pull himself together and do this for him! No matter how ridiculous it seemed.

He lifted Reid's hand and kissed it. "I've missed you too" he said, pretending that it really was his boyfriend that he was talking to. "You gave us all such a scare! Don't do it again! I can't lose you!"

 _'This is so wrong, this is so wrong, this is so wrong…"_ repeated over and over in his head, as he looked at Reid smiling up at him.

Reid shifted a little bit to try to sit up straighter and said "Kiss me?"

Morgan's eyes widened as he realised that it had come to this already. How was he going to get out of this now?!

 _'It's just a kiss…"_ he reasoned with himself, _"Just a peck on the lips… it's no big deal… like an actor in a play'_

He could feel his heart hammering with excitement. He wanted to kiss him. Now that Reid had said those two little words, he couldn't tear his eyes away from those lips of his. He wished that the man didn't have lipstick on, of course. That just made things weird.

But this was wrong, wasn't it?! Surely, this was like making fun of someone with a brain injury? Like taking advantage of him, or something?!

…But what was he to do?! He was here now, and Reid was expecting it. The team wanted him to play along with this. The doctors wanted him to… Didn't they?!

 _'Fuck!_ ' thought Morgan. He was so confused!

"Kiss me?!" repeated Reid, as he smiled up at him.

 _'Okay'_ he thought to himself, _"You don't have a choice! …Just do it! Do it! Just lean in and do it!'_

As his lips connected with Reid's, his stomach gave an excited little flutter, but he couldn't help wondering what he was getting himself into. Where was this going to end?! How could he ever untangle himself from this now without really hurting him? Or getting hurt himself for that matter… What kind of person would do this?!

Reid smiled at him as their lips parted and gave a happy little sigh. Much to Morgan's surprise, the younger man managed to shift himself over in the bed to make room beside him.

"S-stay?" he asked, gently patting the bed and smiling brightly. "The n-nurses said… it would be okay."

"Oh… Uh…" stammered Morgan. "Well, uh…"

He was completely lost for words. The team had made it very clear that they needed him to do this, to stay with him, and make Reid feel safe and loved. He wanted to do it for him, if he was completely honest, and maybe he wanted it for himself as well… but he was scared. What if he couldn't walk away when the time came? What if he couldn't let him go?

"Please?" said Reid, looking at him with big puppy dog eyes.

That was it. He couldn't say no to that! He began to pull back the covers and toed his shoes off.

 _'What are you doing?!'_ he screamed at himself in his own head, as he climbed into the bed and lay down beside him. _'What the hell are you doing?! You're not seriously doing this! …Seriously, man?! This is ridiculous! …What are you doing?!'_

Reid leaned his head against Morgan's chest, and closed his eyes with a contented little sigh, unable to really move much more than that. Morgan looked down at Reid, breathing in the smell of his body and wondering at the sense of 'home' that being this close gave him. He knew right now that he never wanted to be anywhere else! That thought made him tear up a little.

"Love you" whispered Reid, as he snuggled in against him a little sleepily, "My Sculpted Hunk of Chocolate Love…"

He suddenly began to laugh. The thought of Dr Spencer Reid using those words was just too funny.

"Oh god!" he chuckled, "I love you too, Pretty B… I mean, I love you too, Baby Girl."


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note: Thanks once again to Pembie and Dextolan for the continued support. I'm glad you're still enjoying it! To anyone else who's reading, I'd really appreciate if you could let me know what you think. I'm a bit nervous about this chapter, cos I'm not sure I'm getting the characters right at all, so again, any feedback (good or bad) would be very much appreciated! Anything at all! Don't be shy!**

 **So... here's the next chapter :-)**

 **Chapter 5**

 **i.**

Morgan lay back with his eyes closed and willed himself to go to sleep. He'd been trying for hours now, but he just couldn't seem to nod off. He'd tried concentrating on his breathing, he'd tried counting, he'd tried a relaxation technique taught to him by the bureau's psychologist, but none of it seemed to be working. He just couldn't make his body relax. He knew that it was partly because the bed was too small and he would probably fall out if he let himself fall asleep completely, but the other reason was much more obvious.

He was lying in bed with the man of his dreams.

The _man_ of his dreams…

He couldn't quite get his head around it.

Up until very recently, he hadn't allowed himself to think about men in that way. He'd definitely never entertained the idea of having a homosexual relationship. Or any relationship really, if he was honest with himself.

He'd sometimes wondered if he had any true sexual feelings for anyone. Of course, he'd had sex. He'd done what had to be done. He'd gone through the motions, literally, and he was pretty good at it, but he'd never really enjoyed it. He'd slept with a good number of women over the years, although nowhere near as many as he liked to pretend. He often left the bar with some drunken woman, making sure to be seen by the team, only to take her back to her own place and make sure that she got home safely. Ever the gentleman. He just didn't want people to know that. He knew what they all expected of him. He was supposed to be a ladies' man, a real Casanova. People had been making that assumption since his days on the high school football team. ' _Derek Morgan, the player'_. He had a reputation to uphold.

 _High School..._

His mind floated back for a moment to his senior year. He tried not to think about it too much anymore, but lying here with a man in his arms, it was hard not to. It still hurt. Scott had been his name. The boy that had stolen his heart and then trampled all over it, humiliating him in the process. All he'd wanted was to feel something with someone that wasn't Carl Buford. To know what was good about sex. To know that it didn't have to hurt, and it didn't have to make him feel dirty... But Scott had obviously seen a vulnerability in him. Maybe there'd been something about him that had screamed 'victim'? Looking back on it now, he couldn't understand how he could have been so stupid. To let someone make a fool of him like that. To let someone hurt him again, just like his abuser had. He'd been so messed up at the time, of course. His head a whirl of confusion and hurt. The only consolation was that it hadn't gone too far. They hadn't actually had sex.

He opened his eyes for a moment and gazed at Reid's sleeping face. He knew that he would never hurt him like that. Reid didn't have a cruel bone in his body. That was probably what had attracted him so much in the first place; the inherent 'goodness' of the man. The fact that he cared so much more about others than he did about himself. It was hard not to love a person like that. Not to want them in your life. He smiled a little as he looked at him there, snuggled in against his chest. He couldn't help thinking that he looked like an angel, so sweet and vulnerable lying there. His cute little nose, and his soft kissable lips. He told himself that if Reid wanted him to, he'd look after him forever...

 _'Woah, woah, woah!'_ he suddenly scolded himself, ' _You're really losing it man! ...You know that Reid doesn't want you that way...'_

He closed his eyes again and tried to think when it was that he'd started to feel this way about Reid. About sweet little geeky Reid... a man who talked a mile a minute, and spouted impossibly detailed facts, as though he'd swallowed a whole library? A man so socially awkward that, despite being very good looking, he was probably a virgin at the age of 26, and wouldn't know what to do with himself if someone made a move on him. How had this even happened?! How had Derek Morgan fallen so deeply in love with a certain Dr Spencer Reid?!

It hadn't happened overnight, that was for sure! It had sort of crept up on him and taken him by surprise. For a long time he'd told himself it was just brotherly love, or a need to protect someone weaker than himself. Then he'd tried to convince himself that it was nothing but a workplace crush, born out of spending so much time together... but over time it had become so much more. So much more that he couldn't deny it anymore.

And this time in the hospital had made him realise just how much the man meant to him. How much he cared.

He knew what he wanted now... He just wasn't sure what to do about that.

It was all very well knowing who you wanted, but what if that person didn't return your feelings? Or even worse, what if they weren't in a position to make any kind of decision at all? What if they'd been hit in the head so hard that they didn't know who they were anymore, or which way was up? What then?

He gave an exasperated huff and opened his eyes to stare at the ceiling. All this thinking wasn't going to have him drifting to the land of nod anytime soon! But he was so tired though. He needed to sleep!

' _Maybe if I try to stay awake it'll have the opposite effect?'_ he thought to himself, ' _Just concentrate on keeping your eyes open..._ ' He was pretty sure that Reid had told him that? He could remember him saying something about that... Of course, most of what he knew about anything had come from Reid. He wondered if he'd ever learnt anything in school!

After a while, his eyes began to close and before he knew it, he'd slipped off to sleep…

 _He jumped out of the SUV, hardly waiting for it to come to a full stop. What he saw in front of him made his heart skip a beat. The place looked like a war zone!_

 _He took a few faltering steps towards it, wondering where to start, and frantically scanning the ground for signs of life. A terrible thought ran through his head. 'Surely, there can't be any survivors?!'_

 _This was an explosion at a warehouse in an industrial area down by the docks. The building had clearly been blown to pieces! There was rubble, twisted metal rods, mangled sheets of corrugated iron, and burning wreckage everywhere! What was left of the building was ablaze, and there were electrical wires creating a dazzling display of what almost looked like fireworks._

 _He knew that JJ and Reid had come down here to check it out. They were meant to come straight back to the station but they'd called to say that they were coming here to do a quick check first. They hadn't really expected to find anything. It was just_ _a 'tick-box exercise' so they could rule it out. How wrong they'd been?!_

" _Morgan?!" came a frantic scream from among the rubble, "Morgan, help?!"_

 _He took off running in the direction of the voice, and dropped to his knees when he found JJ trapped under a lump of concrete. Her arm was pinned._

" _I c-can't lift it!" she whined miserably, clawing with her free arm at the heavy concrete slab that pinned her down, "It's too h-heavy!"_

 _Rossi appeared beside them and dropped to his knees as well._

" _Have you called it in?" asked Morgan, giving Rossi a concerned look because he could see that JJ was burned as well as trapped._

" _They're on their way" nodded Rossi, "Medics... Fire too._.. _They're five minutes out..."_

 _"And Hotch?"_

 _"He knows..."_

" _Okay" said Morgan, turning his attention back to JJ, "We're gonna try and lift this... so... Hold still"_

" _I… d-don't …th-think I have a ch-choice…" she stammered. Her teeth were chattering from the shock_ _but she was laughing too. Or at least, trying to._

 _Morgan smirked a little. At least she was still making jokes! He nodded at Rossi, and then they both tried to lift the block off her, straining and sweating, but it wouldn't move. It was just too large._

" _Okay, JJ… Listen to me" panted Morgan, "Help is on the way… they'll get the hydraulics and they'll lift this thing off you… and it's gonna be okay…"_

" _I'm scared" said JJ, starting to cry, "I'm c-cold."_

" _Hey, look at me" said Rossi, taking his jacket off and draping it around her as best he could, "We're gonna stay with you… and we're gonna get you out!"_

 _Morgan began to look around, suddenly realising that Reid wasn't around._ _He looked down at JJ. She seemed to be losing consciousness._

" _Hey, JJ?!" he asked, shaking her to make her open her eyes again, "Where's Reid?!"_

 _At that she started to cry, her whole face screwing up in pain. "I… I tried…" she sobbed, "I… told him not to go in-inside… I t-told him to wait… but he s-saw the children and… and he…"_

" _He's in there?!" gasped Morgan, not waiting for her to answer before he set off running towards what was left of the warehouse. His heart felt like it was literally being ripped from his chest. Spencer was in there?! He had to get him out!_

 _Just then there was another explosion that blasted him backwards and knocked him off his feet. "Noooo!" he screamed, as he watched the building once more engulfed in flames..._

He woke up with a frightened gasp and then lay there panting for a while. He hated these flashbacks! It seemed like they came every time he tried to fall asleep, suddenly replaying like something out of his worst nightmare. He didn't understand why he kept having them. It wasn't like he'd been hurt in that explosion, was it?! He wasn't the one lying in this bed with a busted up head! He wasn't the one with burns all over his arm. He had no right to be traumatised by it. Not when his friends needed him so badly. What the hell was wrong with him?!

"Christ, Morgan!" he grunted, "Man up, will you?!" He instinctively pulled the sleeping body beside him a little closer, almost like a security blanket.

"Love you" mumbled Reid in response, a contented little smile playing on his lips, "Mm... jocol'te… cupcake…"

He couldn't help smiling. The man couldn't be any cuter if he tried! "Love you too, Pretty Boy" he whispered in his ear, "Love you too."

 **ii.**

Morgan woke with a start to the sound of someone loudly clearing their throat, and he looked up to see Rossi standing in the doorway smiling at him. He felt his face flush with heat, as the embarrassment took hold, and he looked down to see Reid's hand resting on his inner thigh. He reached for it, and gently moved it away, before easing out of the bed, and brushing his clothes down. He didn't know where to look. He certainly couldn't meet Rossi's eyes.

"Um…" he said, glancing at Reid as he continued to sleep. "Uh… Can we not tell anyone that you saw this? Please?!" he said, glancing up at Rossi's grinning face momentarily, before looking away.

The awkwardness of this whole situation was really starting to get to him. The looks on the nurses' faces in the middle of the night had been bad enough, without Rossi seeing this too!

"Hey!" said Rossi, holding his hands up in front of him in a mocking kind of way. He gave a little nod to the other man's crotch. "What you two get up to in the privacy of your own hospital room is your own business!"

Morgan looked down and felt himself blush even more. In his haste to get out of the bed, he hadn't even noticed the pretty glaring case of 'morning wood' that he wa sporting. He made a desperate grab for the hoodie he'd tossed on the chair last night and held it in front of himself.

Rossi coughed a little, and then pursed his lips together to show that he was fighting the urge to laugh.

Morgan glared at him. "What are you even doing here?!" he demanded.

"Just checking in with our resident genius" replied Rossi, "Sorry if I interrupted…"

"C'mon, man?!" he groaned, "Don't you think this is hard enough for me, without you messing with me?!"

Rossi smirked at the other man's discomfort. For an FBI agent, who'd dealt with some of the most disturbing and twisted individuals on the planet, it was funny how easy it was to ruffle his feathers. He nodded at Reid in the bed, taking in the smudged makeup on his face and the sky blue floral-patterned jammies. He looked pretty cute, all mussed up like that.

"JJ did a good job, didn't she?!" smirked Rossi. He couldn't help it.

"Seriously?!" growled Morgan, clearly getting angry now, "…If you've just come here to wind me up then you can turn around and go home… This is tough enough as it is!"

He grabbed Rossi by the elbow and led him out into the hallway. Running his hand over his own shaven head, he dropped his voice to an angry whisper.

"He's seriously mixed up… He has no idea who he is… and he's scared… and I've been dragged into the weirdest most messed up situation of my entire life! Do you have any idea…? …I mean… I just spent the night in my friend's bed, snuggled up like we're lovers! He thinks I'm his boyfriend! …This is such a mess! …If he ever comes to his senses and remembers any of this… I don't know how I'm ever gonna look at him again…"

He rubbed his face in both hands and let out an exasperated groan.

"Rossi, how are we meant to work together again?! After this?! …What the hell am I doing?!"

"It is _quite_ the predicament!" agreed Rossi, with a raise of his eyebrow. He knew that he was being childish but there was just something so amusing about the bigger man's embarrassment. You'd have thought that he was 13 years old.

"Rossi, this isn't funny!" growled Morgan. He glanced in an embarrassed way at one of the nurses from last night as she walked past. They all knew that he was an agent with the FBI, and that Reid was his work colleague, so finding them cuddled together like a couple of newlyweds, had been a source of great amusement. He knew that he was quickly becoming a laughing stock.

"Reid's going to be mortified" he said, "…when he comes out of this… _If_ he comes out of this… That's if I don't die of embarrassment in the meantime!"

"Okay, okay…" said Rossi, giving him an apologetic look and a pat on the shoulder. "No more poking fun… I'll behave myself… I'm nothing if not known for my discretion."

They walked back together to the door of Reid's room and looked across at the body lying in the bed. "He really thinks he's Garcia" sighed Rossi, "No-one could have predicted this!"

Reid opened his eyes and turned to look at the two men standing in the doorway.

"Hey!" he said, giving Rossi a big smile, "You're back?!"

He managed to lift his hand and pick up the bed control, pushing the button to bring the bed into a sitting position.

"M-morning… my Chocolate Muffin!" he called, tilting his head and smiling in a flirtatious way, "Don't I get a g-good morning kiss?!"

Morgan widened his eyes at Rossi, looking even more uncomfortable. It was one thing to kiss him when they were on their own, or even in front of Garcia, but this man was one of the best psychological profilers in the business. A pioneer of the science. How would he not see what was right in front of his eyes? How would he not see that he was deeply and madly in love with the man in that bed?! The thought of being found out made him feel a little queasy.

"Yeah, Morgan!" said Rossi, as he pushed him towards Reid's bed. "What's wrong with you? Give your girlfriend a kiss!"

Morgan glared at Rossi, ready to strangle him as soon as they got out of there, and then turned around to look at Reid with a forced smile. The younger man was looking up at him with those sweet puppy-dog eyes of his, and the most adorable little pout. How could he say no?

' _Screw it!_ ' he thought to himself, and leaned in, tenderly kissing him on the lips. _'That's it! Rossi's going to make my life a living hell after this!'_ he thought to himself, _'I'm never going to hear the end of it! ...What am I doing?!'_

Rossi turned to look out the doorway as though he was just giving them some privacy but his whole body was shuddering and shaking with the effort to keep from laughing. This was absurd!

Reid looked up at Morgan as their lips parted, and gave him the sweetest softest smile.

"I love you!" he said, "Hot stuff."

With great effort, he managed to grip the front of Morgan's shirt, and pull him down to kiss him again. This time with more passion, a frantic mashing of lips, and then… tongue.

Morgan felt his stomach give a flutter when he realised that he was French-kissing his friend. He was French-kissing his best friend, in front of one of their work colleagues, and there was nothing chaste about this kiss! This was rough, and passionate… and sexy! His body gave in to it, and he found that he couldn't pull away. He didn't want it to stop… but his mind was whirring all the same… He knew this was wrong!

' _Oh, God!'_ he thought to himself _, 'What am I getting myself into?! What am I supposed to do now?!'_

 **iii.**

Garcia walked out through the lift doors when they opened and was surprised to see Morgan sitting in the waiting area on one of the chairs along the wall. He looked completely dazed and was staring blankly at the floor.

"How's my hunk of Chocolate love?!" she called, as she walked over to him, but he didn't respond. She gave him a worried look and sat down beside him. "Derek?" she said again, tilting her head to look him in the eye.

He continued to stare into space, as though he hadn't heard a word that she'd said, and hadn't registered that she was even there. He was beginning to scare her now. She reached out, and touched his knee, giving it a gentle little shake.

"Derek?! …Are you okay?!" she asked, looking at him with concern. When he didn't answer her, she began to panic. "Derek!? What's wrong?!" she cried, shaking his knee more violently and reaching for his hand. "Derek?! Look at me! What's wrong?!"

He continued to gaze at the floor, looking dazed and confused.

"I just kissed Reid" he said eventually, in a quiet and distant voice. "He just put his tongue in my mouth… and I let him."

She gasped and covered her mouth, involuntarily starting to laugh, and tilting her head at him apologetically. "Oh, my god!" she laughed, "Sorry, Morgan… It's just…"

"I let him do it…" he said again, shaking his head slowly and staring at a water stain on the floor. "You asked me to… so I let him… I let him kiss me… and Rossi watched."

"Sweetcheeks, it was just a kiss!" she said, reaching out and taking his hand.

She couldn't understand why he was making such a big fuss. Sure, it was embarrassing, but it was only a kiss at the end of the day. Actors did it all the time. No-one would think that he really wanted to!

"It's no big deal!" she said, smiling at him and fighting the urge to start laughing again. "You're just playing a part, sweetie! …It's not like you enjoyed it!"

He turned to look at her and wondered what she'd say if he told her the truth. That he had enjoyed it? That he wanted to do it again? And that he never wanted to stop doing it?! Would it change things? Would she think it was just like 'playing a part' then? Or would she think that he was some kind of sick sexual predator, taking advantage of her 'sweet little baby cakes'?!

"I can't do this, Garcia!" he said, "…I can't!" He shook his head and frowned as he looked at the floor, "I just kissed Reid …on the mouth …with tongues! …I didn't even know if he knew how to do that."

"He's not that innocent!" she chuckled.

"Isn't he?" he replied.

"Morgan!" she said, starting to laugh again. "You didn't sleep with him! ...It was just a kiss!"

 _'Just a kiss'?_ he thought... Was it though? Was it 'just' a kiss?!

No. It had meant everything to him.

But that just made it so much worse!

He was pretty sure that the real Reid wouldn't have wanted to do anything like that, certainly not with him, so he couldn't help feeling guilty about it. Particularly because he'd enjoyed it so much himself. It was almost like he'd got him drunk at a party and then taken advantage of him. There was something very 'wrong' about this whole thing, and he worried that Reid would think so too. Would he blame him for letting him do it? For not pushing him away? Would he hate him forever when he found out?

"I've never kissed a man before!" he snapped at her, although he knew that that wasn't true. He'd never kissed a man consensually, but he didn't want to think about that right now. "This is wrong…" he said, "and… I …I just…"

"No, Derek" she said, gently stroking his cheek. "You might not think you're doing the right thing… but this is what he needs right now… He needs to feel safe, and if that means you need to kiss him every now and then… and hold his hand… Then I'm sorry, Sweetness, but you're gonna have to man up and do that!"

He stared at her for a moment, wondering whether to just come clean. Maybe that would be the best solution? At least then, they could figure out what to do... maybe come up with a solution together?

"But I…" he began to say.

"No 'buts'" she warned him.

"No, Baby Girl… I…" he tried again.

"Ah ah!" she scolded, "I don't want to hear any excuses… You have to do this… doctor's orders, remember?"

He stared for a moment more before slowly nodding and returning his gaze to the floor.

"You're doing this _for_ Reid" she said, "Remember that."

"What if he wakes up tomorrow" he sighed, "…and he realises what's been happening?! What if he remembers that I kissed him?! …He'll be so embarrassed, Garcia! How am I meant to look him in the eye?! …How are we meant to work together?!"

"He'll know that you're a good man…" said Garcia, taking his hand and giving him a little kiss on the cheek. "He'll know that you're the kind of man who'll do whatever it takes to help his friends… The best friend that anyone could have..."

What she didn't say, was that him doing this for Reid was making her fall in love with him just that little bit more. How could someone be this good looking AND such a good person?! So selfless? What she wouldn't give to just lean in and kiss him right now!

"He made me sleep in the bed with him" he said, shaking his head incredulously. "This is getting too weird, Garcia! …Where is this going to end up?! …I can't pretend to be his boyfriend forever, so what do we do then?! …I'll be the asshole that walked out on him when he really needed me… How hurt do you think he'll be then?! This isn't right! …It's cruel! …I don't think I can do this!"

"Yes, you can!" she insisted, nodding her head at him emphatically. "You can! …You have to! …You can't just run out on him now!"

"But… in the long run…" he said, shaking his head at her. "What if he never comes out of this?! …I mean… I can't sleep with him!" (However much he wished that he could).

"You think I want you to have sex with my little junior G-Man?!" she exclaimed, putting her hands on either side of his face, "We would never ask you to do something like that! What are you even thinking?!"

 _'That I want to rip his clothes off'_ he thought to himself guiltily, _'...and explore every inch of that beautiful body of his... That I want him to be mine'_. He didn't say it though.

"It's bad enough as it is!" he said instead, trying to push those thoughts away. "Mama, I love you!" he sighed, "…but this is beyond weird! …You're asking too much!"

But he couldn't get his mind off what had just happened. He'd fantasised for such a long time about kissing that man, and holding him close, and now that it had finally happened, all he wanted was to do it again. He'd lain awake for hours last night just watching him sleep, breathing in his scent, and watching the rise and fall of his chest. There was nowhere else that he wanted to be, and the thought of going home to his own bed, alone, made him want to curl up into a ball and cry. Why had it had to happen like this?!

"Just a little while longer?" she pleaded. "The doctors think he'll come out of this soon, so maybe it's only for another couple of days… Please?! Please, Morgan?!"


	6. Chapter 6

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay so, here we go! The next chapter! I hope you like it. Thank you so so so much to Pembie, Dextolan, and Juna Izumi for taking the time to comment. Getting your reviews really put a smile on my face! If you're out there and you're reading this story, I'd really appreciate it if you could let me know what you think. You don't have to write an essay. Just, did you like it? Is there anything you want to see happen? Do you have any theories as to why Reid is behaving the way he is? Thumbs up? Thumbs down? Anything at all? :-)**

 **xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox**

 **Chapter 6**

 **i.**

2 weeks later…

"Okay, Agent Morgan, if you can just hold Penelope's ankle, like this" said the physiotherapist, clearly finding it hard not to smirk.

Everyone had been briefed on this most unusual of situations but it was still hard for people to deal with, and they all seemed to think that they could make jokes about it whenever they wanted to.

"…and um… put your other hand here on the underside of her thigh…" she continued.

Morgan blushed a little, but did as he was told, placing his hands a little uncertainly, and looking at Reid as he lay limply on the bed, dressed in pink heart-patterned pyjamas.

"Like this?" he asked, looking decidedly embarrassed.

"Yep, you got it!" said the physio, giving him a reassuring smile and guiding him in how to move Reid's leg. "Okay, so, we're going to bend her leg up towards her chest, slowly and gently, like this… and then bring it back out into a straight position." She looked down at Reid as he winced in pain, and said, "Now, Penelope, I'm afraid this is going to hurt a bit… at first… Your muscles are very stiff and it's going to take a while to get them working again properly."

Reid nodded and bit his bottom lip, obviously in pain.

The physio turned to Morgan again, giving him an encouraging smile, and said, "Okay, let's try that again…" Looking back at Reid, she winked at him, and said, "What are boyfriends for, eh?!"

"He's… my fiancé" said Reid, wincing a little with the pain, "We're getting married… n-ext year!"

Morgan's eyes widened, wondering where on earth that had come from, and then glanced at the physio. He suddenly felt like it was about 100 degrees in here.

"Is that so?" she replied, a hint of a smirk playing on her lips.

"Yeah, that's right." answered Reid, with a happy little smile, "Next year."

Morgan gazed down at him. A sudden image of their wedding flashing through his mind, with the two of them in suits, and all their smiling friends and family gathered round. He could see them having their first dance with all eyes on them, and feeding each other wedding cake, and posing for photos. Then there'd be the honeymoon… maybe somewhere tropical… a big bed with rose petals… It didn't seem like such a terrible prospect at all.

' _Jesus! Get a grip, Derek!'_ he scolded himself, when he realised that his imagination was running away with him again, and not only that, but he appeared to have turned into a teenage girl!

"Well, then!" exclaimed the physio, speaking to Reid, "We'll have to get you up and about so you can walk down that aisle! Won't we?! …Have you picked a date yet?!"

Morgan glanced at her sideways, still moving Reid's leg just like the physio had shown him, and gave her a look of disdain.

"Not yet." Replied Reid, "We're not going to rush… into things… We'll decide when I get better."

Morgan really began to feel like this whole thing was getting out of control, and wondered if Reid would remember these conversations, and feel that he'd been ridiculed. He didn't like where this was going.

They'd had a team conference with Dr Nash, the psychiatrist, to understand what was happening, and to reassure themselves that they were doing the right thing. Medical advice was to play along at all cost.

Morgan had raised his concerns about the part that he was playing in this whole thing. He was worried that posing as Reid's boyfriend, and letting him think that his delusions were real, was simply setting him up for a fall. Hotch was in agreement, but the psychiatrist had insisted, asking that they persevere for just a little bit longer and see how things played out. They weren't happy about it, but they'd agreed for Reid's sake.

"Okay, Penelope" said the physio, "I think we'll try to get you standing, if that's okay?" She nodded at Morgan to come round to the top of the bed. "I just want to see what your weight bearing is like. Is that okay with you?"

"I… I guess so" said Reid, looking very nervous and starting to breathe a little too fast. "Are… you s-sure… I won't fall?!"

"No Penelope, you definitely won't fall!" she said, giving him a reassuring smile. "Not when you've got this big strong boyfriend… sorry, ' _fiancé_ '… here to help me hold you up!"

Morgan threw her another dirty look. He didn't like what she was doing, teasing them like this.

Doing his best to hide the fact that he was annoyed, he turned to smile at Reid again, and fixed his hair for him a little, tucking it behind his ears.

"It'll be okay!" he said, giving him a light little kiss on the cheek.

Kissing him had started to get a little easier, probably easier than he wanted it to be. There was a small voice in the back of his head screaming at him to take a step back. _'You're going to get hurt, Derek!_ ' it shouted at him, _'You're going to end up broken-hearted, and then where will we be?!_ '

"We've got you!" he said, stroking Reid's arm reassuringly, "Okay Baby?"

The physio pulled over a standing frame and placed it beside the bed in front of Reid. She lifted both his legs and gently swung them round so they were hanging out of the bed to the side. Nodding at Morgan to lift him up by the shoulders, they brought him slowly into a sitting position on the edge of the bed, with Morgan and the physio holding him in an upright position and stopping him from falling forward.

"I'm… g-going to stand up!" said Reid, grinning up at Morgan with an excited look on his face. He turned to look at the physio and said, "Let's… do this!"

Morgan and the physio lifted Reid onto his feet, positioning his arms on the arm rests of the standing frame, and he stood there wobbling and swaying on shaky white legs. Morgan couldn't help looking, now that he was up on his feet, and shook his head a little. Dressed as he was now in a small pair of pink shorts with little red hearts on them, he'd begun to look alarmingly feminine. JJ had gone as far as shaving his legs for him and had even painted his toenails. He gazed at the man in front of him, with his impossibly big hazel eyes, and wondered what he'd say if he could see himself. He'd probably be horrified to be showing so much flesh!

"Wooaaah!" said Reid, shaking his head a little and closing his eyes. It was clear that he was breathing a lot heavier too. "I fffeeeel woozy" he slurred, "I think I'm gonna be s-sick!"

"It's okay, Penelope!" said the physio, "That's normal! You've been lying down for weeks now… Standing up can feel very strange… It'll pass… Just breathe!"

Morgan put his hand on top of Reid's, and smiled at him, when he opened his eyes and looked up at him. "It'll be okay!" he said, kissing him on the forehead, "Just breathe through it."

"Oh, my god! This is amazing!" exclaimed the real Garcia as she stood in the doorway. "I can't believe you're standing!"

"Hey" said Morgan, suddenly feeling quite awkward.

He didn't like having the others there when he was having to play the part of the 'doting boyfriend'. He'd had to kiss Reid properly in front of Garcia the other evening, and he'd been surprised to see a look of disgust on her face. She'd tried to hide it, but he'd seen it very clearly. Things had been a bit weird between them for the next few days. They were really only getting back onto an even keel now and he really didn't want to mess things up again. This was all getting so complicated.

"A-amazing, huh?!" grunted Reid, as he struggled with the strain of it all. "I'll… b-be… w-walking again soon!"

"One step at a time" said the physio, giving him a little wink.

Reid rolled his eyes. "Lame joke" he said.

"I think that's enough for today" she continued, seeing how badly he was shaking and sweating. It was obviously taking an enormous amount of effort to stay on his feet. "Why don't we get you into a wheelchair?" she asked, looking back and forth between Morgan and Garcia. "Maybe you'd all like to go outside and get some fresh air?"

Reid nodded, shaking violently now with the effort to stay upright, and Garcia pushed the wheelchair over for them to lower him in. He gave a sigh of relief and sat in the chair hyperventilating.

"I'm so proud of you!" said Morgan, kneeling down in front of him and putting his hand on Reid's knee. "That was amazing!"

Garcia stared at Morgan and Reid as they shared a tender little moment, kissing right there in front of her. She knew that it was irrational for her to feel jealous, especially when Morgan had made it abundantly clear that this wasn't something that he wanted to do. And even more so because she was the one that had begged him to do it in the first place! But they just seemed to be growing very close, and that kiss the other night had been verging on indecent! She was beginning to wonder if Morgan was developing feelings for him

' _You're being ridiculous!'_ she told herself, over and over, _"Morgan isn't gay!"_

Even so… she couldn't quite push the thought away.

 **ii.**

"…Bet it feels good to be outside?!" babbled Garcia, as she walked beside Reid's wheelchair into the garden. She'd been talking non-stop since they'd left physiotherapy but Reid hadn't said a thing. "It's so hot and stuffy in there!" she continued, "Isn't it nice to breathe in some nice fresh air?!"

Reid looked up at her and gave her a tired smile.

"Y-yeah… it's good" he said quietly.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

He nodded, but avoided eye contact, and pulled his baby pink dressing gown around himself a little tighter.

"What's wrong?" she asked, kneeling down and taking his hand.

He didn't answer for a moment, but then he shook his head and glanced up at her. "I'm just… so tired." he sighed, in a small voice, "And I feel like I'm not me... like there's something I've forgotten about myself... but everything's... like a thick fog..."

Suddenly, his eyes were welling up a little bit and he was frantically trying to blink back the tears. He seemed to cry so easily now that any little thing could set him off.

"Hey!" she said, glancing up at Morgan in concern, "It's okay! …We can take you back inside if you're too tired?"

He shook his head, and shakily lifted his hand to wipe his tears away.

"Sorry… I just…" he started to say, "I'm… just… This is so… so hard."

He gave a sigh and looked up at Morgan with big teary eyes.

"I'm just… so useless!" he sobbed, "I can't do anything for myself… I feel so weak… I'm pathetic!"

"Hey, baby! You're not pathetic!" Morgan assured him, as he hunkered down at the side of the chair, "You're getting better! Every day, you get better!" He glanced apologetically at Garcia, and then began gently stroking the side of Reid's face. "You took a really big step today!" he said, giving him a quick peck on the lips, "That's not nothing, baby! I'm so proud of you!"

Reid smiled, wiping clumsily at his tears again and put his hand on Morgan's chest just above his heart.

"Thanks…" he said, "I'm just… a bit em-emotional!"

He glanced at the real Garcia and gave her an embarrassed little smile.

She looked back at him, gently stroking his hair behind his ear, and fixed his little hairclips for him. She tilted her head at him and smiled. She couldn't help thinking that he actually looked weirdly pretty, despite his puffy eyes.

"You're gonna be okay!" she said, getting a little teary herself, "Look how far you've come already! You were standing today! …I bet in a week we'll be out here together, walking around!"

"Thanks Reid" he smiled, "I hope …I hope so!"

Morgan took his hand and gave it a little squeeze. "You will, Baby Girl!" he smiled, "We all believe in you!"

Garcia gasped and turned away when the two began to kiss again.

Her stomach clenched a little at the use of Morgan's nickname for her. 'Baby Girl'. It was about the millionth time that he'd said it in front of her now, and somehow it felt like it was losing its magic for her. Those two little words had always made her a little weak at the knees, but Reid was the one getting all the 'Morgan charm' now. He was the one that got to see that gorgeous smile every morning, the one that Morgan looked at like he was the most beautiful woman in existence. She hated it!

Was it wrong that she was jealous of poor little brain-damaged Reid? Why did he get to kiss her Chocolate Adonis like that, when she'd never had the pleasure herself?! The man that she loved was currently locking lips with her junior G-man and there was nothing that she could do to stop it! She'd been out-Garcia'd by one of her closest friends! She wanted to scream!

"Okay… You two need to get a room…" she said a little bitterly, "You know… not everyone wants to see…

Her voice died away when she spotted Hotch in the distance. He was watching from across the hospital garden and he definitely didn't look happy!

 **iii.**

"Hotch! I don't know what it is you want from me!" groaned Morgan, "I'm just doing what you asked me to do! You asked me to pretend to be 'Garcia's' boyfriend… I mean, Reid's!... God! This is so confusing! …I mean… You asked me to do that!"

He knew that Hotch was angry with him. He could see it in every inch of the man's body language. Standing here right now, with him glaring at him like that, he felt like a small child about to be put on the naughty step.

"You asked me to!" he repeated, "…And now I'm doing it… And it's weirder than anything I could ever have imagined… But I'm doing it!" He rubbed his face in both hands. "You can't get angry with me… for doing _exactly_ what you asked!"

"I didn't ask you to kiss him…" said Hotch, glancing down the corridor to make sure that they weren't overheard, "I didn't ask you to put your hands all over him either."

"I haven't touched him!" gasped Morgan, but his face had begun to heat up and the tone of his voice betrayed his guilt. "Nothing's happened" he insisted, "I've only kissed him."

"Morgan" frowned Hotch, "I saw you out in the garden a few minutes ago… I saw how… _intimate_ the two of you have become…"

He grimaced a little at the implication, his mind already racing, and flashing through the events of the last few weeks. He tried to think how many little kisses there had been, how many little touches?! How much trouble was he in?!

"Hotch" he said, getting ready to defend himself, "I didn't… I haven't…"

"I'm not angry" sighed Hotch, as he motioned for him to take a seat on one of the plastic chairs. He walked over and sat down on the seat beside him. "I understand that we've put you in an impossible position…" he continued, "…and things can become… _confusing_ … especially given your feelings for him."

"My feelings?!" repeated Morgan, feeling a brewing sense of panic. "Hotch, what are you talking about?!"

Hotch held a hand up to tell him to be quiet and then fixed him with that _'oh so serious'_ expression of his. He felt himself begin to sweat a little, as dark brown eyes fixedly held his gaze. It was as though he was 'reading' him.

"I knew when we asked you to do this" sighed Hotch, "…I knew that it was asking a lot… and I worried that it would blur the lines for you…"

"Hotch, I don't know what you're talking about" he said.

"Derek" huffed the senior agent, "I respect you too much to dance around this thing so I'm just going to come out and say it! We both know that you have feelings for Reid… I see how you look at him… I see how you behave around him… and I saw how you were with him just now…"

Morgan looked at him, wide-eyed in shock. Hotch knew that he had feelings for Reid?! Was he that bad at hiding it?!

"I know that your feelings for Reid are not new" he continued, "I know that you've been feeling this way about him for quite some time…"

Morgan went to speak, but Hotch silenced him again.

"I didn't say anything" he tutted, "I didn't… because I didn't feel that it was my place… Who am I to say that you can't have amorous feelings for a colleague as long as you don't allow those feelings to affect your judgement? As long as you don't act on them?"

"Hotch, I… I… don't know what to say" stammered Morgan, "I mean… I was just…"

"Up until today, I thought that we could… _manage_ the situation" said Hotch, "But I can see now that that's not the case…"

"I was just doing what I had to do to make it seem real for him…" said Morgan. He could feel his face burning with shame and he hated the way that Hotch was looking at him now. He felt dirty. He felt ashamed. "I'm not enjoying this…" he said, rubbing his shaved head in a weary sort of way, "I'm really not."

Hotch raised an eyebrow at him in a way that said he didn't believe him.

' _The lady doth protest too much'_ he thought to himself a little miserably, and then smirked at the thought, because he knew that Reid would probably tell him he was using the quote incorrectly or start telling him a million useless facts about its origins. He could just hear him now… ' _You know, there's a theory that Shakespeare didn't actually write any of the great works that we…'_

"Does anyone else know?" he asked, keeping his eyes fixed on the floor.

"Rossi picked up on it a while back" said Hotch, "But I don't know about anyone else..."

"Can we keep this between us?" he asked, hating the almost begging tone of his own voice. _'Are you that big a coward?!'_ he growled at himself in his own head.

"I won't tell anyone" nodded Hotch, "But you shouldn't be ashamed... No-one on this team would ever judge you for that... or have any kind of issue with it... Surely, you know that, Morgan?"

"It's nobody's business!" he snapped angrily.

"That's true" said Hotch, "But... it is a part of you, Morgan... Part of who you are... and I don't think it's healthy for you to hide that from the team... from us... We care about you."

Morgan breathed out loudly but didn't respond to that.

"I'd ask you to think about it." said Hotch.

Morgan rolled his eyes and made a move to get up. He needed some fresh air.

"I'm going to have to ask you to take a step back" said Hotch, putting a hand on his arm to stop him, "I can't allow one of my agents to put himself in question like this… If anything were to happen… there would be a lot of uncomfortable questions asked… and I also have a responsibility to Reid…"

Morgan nodded sadly as he sat back down, and stared at the floor. He couldn't really argue with the man. He probably would have done the same thing himself if he'd been in Hotch's position.

"So… what are you gonna tell him?" he asked.

"That you've had to go away on a case" replied Hotch, "We'll manage him, look after him… Garcia can work from his room if she has to… make it her base for the next few weeks."

"And what do I do in the meantime?" he asked, sounding thoroughly depressed.

"I want you doing paperwork" he answered, "Going over the last case… keeping busy… I think you need some time to figure things out for yourself… and I can't have you around Reid anymore… Not like you've been doing." He got to his feet and went to walk away but stopped when Morgan called out to him.

"Can I be the one to tell him?" he asked, looking up at him with sadness in his eyes, "Can you at least let me do that?!"


	7. Chapter 7

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you to all you lovely folks (Pembie, Juna Izumi, Village Mystic, and Dextolan) who took the time to read and write reviews. You have no idea how much your comments mean to me!** **They really brighten up my day! And thanks to everyone else who's reading this. Hope you enjoy this one!**

 **xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox**

 **Chapter 7**

 **i.**

"Why do …y-you have to go away?!" whined Reid, holding tightly onto Morgan's hand and staring up at him with big wounded eyes. "I don't… un-understand!"

"I told you!" he said, giving him a kiss on the forehead and a little smile. "I have to go away for a case… They need me in LA, and I don't really have a choice in the matter. Strauss' orders. You know what it's like."

Reid gave a heavy sigh and his eyes started to well up with tears. "But, I need you!" he said, pouting in an exaggerated way, ruby red lipstick painted on his lips. "I d-don't… think I can do this… Not without you!"

Morgan sat down on the side of the bed and gave him a sad and sympathetic look. "Yes, you can!" he said, planting a soft little kiss on his forehead. "You can… You're strong! You know you are… And besides, you've got the rest of the team to help you through it!"

"That's right!" said JJ, giving him a big smile. "You've got me… and Hotch, and Prentiss, and Rossi… And 'Reid' too… We're all gonna help you."

Prentiss smiled and nodded at him from the end of his bed. "Yeah, we're all here… Anything you need at all… You know that Garce"

Reid nodded at them and gave them a half-hearted smile. "It's not the same …th-though" he said, turning to look back at Morgan. "You're the one I want… I'm going t-to be so l-lonely." He dropped his voice to a whisper and said, "Y-you know I don't like sleeping alone."

"Hey?!" said Morgan, putting his arm around him and pulling him in for a hug. "Baby Girl, you can still call me… and we can even video call if you want."

"It's not the same!" he sobbed, as tears streamed down his cheeks. "What am I supposed to do without m-my Chocolate Thunder? …I love you, and I don't want you to g-go!"

Looking at the hurt and anguish on his face, Morgan couldn't help feeling that this was incredibly cruel. How was he supposed to just walk away from him?! How was he meant to just leave him here when he needed him most, and when he was literally begging him to stay? How could Hotch really expect him to do this?! It was like kicking a puppy.

Prentiss walked over and reached for Reid's other hand. "Garcia, it's only for a couple of weeks… and you can still keep in touch!" She reached out and gently wiped at the tears on his face for him. "C'mon, sweetie, you've still got all of us… and we'll do some fun things! Won't we, JJ?!"

JJ nodded and flashed him a big white smile. "Girly nights and chick flicks! We'll do mani's and pedi's! And I've had some fun ideas for your hair too… and Prentiss said she'd help!" she said, patting his foot softly. "Come on, Sweetheart! It'll be fun!"

"See?!" said Prentiss, nodding at him encouragingly and fixing his hair for him a little. "C'mon now, sweetie, chin up! It won't be so bad!"

Reid nodded and turned to give Morgan a sad little smile. "Sorry… I'm just s-scared." he said, sniffling and wiping at his eyes with his pyjama sleeve. "This is so h-hard already… without you going too."

"I know" said Morgan, throwing JJ a worried glance. "But I'll be back soon, Princess. You'll hardly know I've been gone."

 **ii.**

 **3 days later…**

Morgan sat at his desk, keeping his head down, as he sifted through a mountain of paperwork that had built up for him over the last few weeks. Hotch had been true to his word. He hadn't sent him to LA, but he'd certainly made sure that he would be busy. He seemed to have the paperwork for every single cold case there was! They'd all been hauled out here and stacked on his desk ready for his arrival this morning. They wanted him to go through them and see if there was anything that they'd missed. There was also the current casefile that they were working on, and JJ and Prentiss had taken the opportunity to dump some of their work on him as well. The general idea was to keep his mind off Reid, but it _really_ wasn't working!

He couldn't stop thinking about him. He couldn't stop himself from wondering what he was doing right now or if he was missing him. He looked at his watch and gave a little sigh. It was just after 10am, so he knew that he'd probably be in physiotherapy right now, but that just made him feel guilty because he wanted to be the one to support him through this. He wanted to be the one to help him learn to walk again. He wanted to be there in every way he could. It was killing him not to be.

He leaned back in his chair for a moment and rolled his shoulders to try to relax a little but his eyes drifted up to the window of Hotch's office. He could see him in there now having a chat with Rossi, him at his desk, and Rossi sitting with a coffee on the couch. It all looked very casual. Rossi was even laughing.

He shook his head and looked back down at his desk. _'It's not his fault'_ he told himself, as he felt a little rush of anger towards his boss, ' _You know you'd do the same if you were him. This whole thing is so messed up! He has to protect Reid… Even if it's from you.'_ Even so, he couldn't help being resentful. In some ways, he felt like a grounded teenager. Like a kid whose parents won't let him see his boyfriend.

He wondered if it would be different if it was a heterosexual relationship. If Prentiss had woken up thinking that _she_ was Garcia, and he'd come to _her_ aid, and slowly fallen in love with _her_? Would Hotch and the others be making such a big deal then?! Was this really all just good old-fashioned homophobia?

' _Jesus, Derek!_ _Get a grip!'_ he growled in his own head, ' _Stop it! Just stop obsessing_! _There's no big conspiracy here, just a lot of worried people doing their best for Reid'_

"Coffee" he said out loud, as he got up from his desk and made his way to the coffee dock, "Coffee will definitely help…"

As soon as he walked in the door, the two agents that were in there stopped talking and made an abrupt exit. Much to his annoyance, he got the distinct impression that they'd been talking about him, and probably even more likely, about Reid. Word had gotten around the office that Reid was suffering some kind of breakdown, and people had done nothing but whisper since he'd been back here today. He wanted to smack them in their stupid gossiping mouths!

"Assholes" he muttered to himself, as he stepped over to the coffee machine and picked up a cup.

"Who's upsetting my burning hunk of love?" asked Garcia, from the doorway, "Tell me and I'll hunt them down and end them."

Morgan spun around to face her, and suddenly that frown he'd been wearing all day broke into a big bright smile. "Baby Girl!" he smiled at her, "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?!"

"Uh uh!" she scolded, "I want details… I walked in here and you had that Derek Morgan _'I'm gonna rip someone's head off'_ scowlon that beautiful beautiful face of yours… So, you're gonna tell me right now what's eating at you!"

"Or what?" he asked, making a half-hearted attempt at flirting, "You'll spank me?"

"Don't think I won't" she warned, with a mischievous sort of smile, "But it won't be the fun kind."

He grinned back at her and took a sip of his coffee.

"Come on, Derek" she said, stepping over beside him so they were leaning against the counter, side by side, "What's going on with you?"

He looked down at her, looking deep into her big brown eyes, and just for a moment he thought about pouring his heart out to her. He wanted to unburden himself in some way. If anyone would understand, she would. But it wouldn't be enough to tell Garcia. Once he told her, the whole thing would snowball out of control. He wasn't ready to 'come out' yet, even if what he really wanted to do was shout it from the rooftops. He wanted to go out into the middle of that office and tell every one of those sniggering idiots that he was in love with Spencer Reid.

Derek Morgan was in love with their geeky resident genius, and on some level, he wanted everyone to know it… He wanted to be honest for once in his life.

But he couldn't. He knew that he couldn't do that.

"You know this is hard for me too" she sighed, when he still hadn't answered her, "I can't even be there to support him… because it's just too weird for me. He thinks I'm him and I'm just so scared in case I do something or say something that's so 'me' that I freak him out… I mean, I can't talk the way that Reid would… I can't be him!"

"No-one can" he said, nodding slowly, "Pretty Boy is one of a kind!"

Garcia smirked a little at that. "I don't think I could live with all those mismatched socks either… Not really my style."

He looked down at the floor and held his breath for a moment. He knew he was going to cry if she kept this up. What he wouldn't give to be able to tease him about those weird socks of his right now. "I just… I miss him." he said quietly.

"I know you do" she said, "We all do."

He gave a little sigh and pushed away from the counter. "Guess I'd better get back at it… Hotch wasn't kidding when he said he was gonna keep me busy with paperwork… I'm drowning in it!" He gave her a little smile and started to walk away.

"Hey Derek?" she called out after him, "Whaddya say you come over to my place tonight and I make you dinner? …I mean… maybe it'll take your mind off things… and we can… catch up… I feel like I never see you these days!"

He didn't say anything immediately. He'd been planning a night in with Clooney and a six-pack of beer.

"I mean…" she began to babble, "You don't have to… I just thought…"

"Sounds good" he said, cutting her off mid-babble, "It's a date, Baby Girl! I'll bring the wine."

Once he got back to his desk, he sunk into the seat and glanced back up at Hotch's office. The man was on his own again, frowning down at some papers on his desk, while Rossi was back in his own office too, and having a rather animated phone call with someone. Like a true Italian, he was waving his arms about in an exaggerated way.

"Okay, come on!" he groaned at himself, as he picked up a file that someone had thrown down on his desk, "Concentrate!" He opened it and began to read.

Three years ago, a string of suicide bombings happened in industrial areas of major cities across the country. One in New York, one in Seattle, one in Los Angeles, and two in Chicago. Seemingly unrelated at first, mainly because the unsubs were from different ethnic groups, with no known ties to any type of organised terrorism, it had taken some time to make a connection. When the Unsubs' remains were examined, it was discovered that they'd all been exposed to a particularly strong mind-altering substance, a psychotropic drug in gaseous form. From the lung tissue that was recovered, it seemed that their lungs all showed a degree of scarring, probably from the prolonged use of the drug. The case had gone unsolved, partly because the bombings seemed to have stopped, and because there was no way to know where or when someone might strike next.

He sat back for a moment, with the pages spread out on the table, his heart hammering in his chest. He felt a little sick.

Images of the bombsite where Reid had been injured flashed through his mind. They hadn't been able to figure out why the young man in question had taken all those hostages. He hadn't seemed to have a motive. They'd closed the case because he'd blown himself up. Unsub dead, case closed. Simple, even if it wasn't the outcome that they'd wanted.

But what if this was connected?! Could this be why Reid was lying in that bed right now?!

 **iii.**

"I can't believe how well you're doing!" said JJ, walking beside Reid down the corridor. He'd just come back from physiotherapy and he was making his way back very slowly with a walking frame. "You should be so proud of yourself!" she grinned.

"I'm getting there" sighed Reid. He was shaking a little and dragging his feet with great effort across the floor. "I think I need… to sit down now though" He was clearly exhausted.

"Okay, there are some seats right here." she said, taking a seat and nodding for him to sit down beside her. She watched him sit down, noticeably out of breath and panting, and gave him a big smile and a pat on the knee. "All the way back from physio, Garcia! You did so well!"

"Thanks!" he said, leaning back and trying to catch his breath. "This is just so hard… It's so weird… that you can just wake up… and find that something… you always just… took for granted… is suddenly really difficult." The walk through the hospital corridors had really taken it out of him and he was talking in short bursts as he tried to slow his breathing. "Who knew… walking… could be so… hard!"

"Yeah" said JJ, stroking her bandaged arm and staring a little vacantly at the floor. "Things can just change overnight. You can think that your life is headed in one direction… and then something happens… and you end up headed in a completely different direction …and there's nothing you can do about it."

"Yeah, life… can really …mess up your plans" he sighed, giving her a sarcastic little smile.

She looked at him and thought for a moment that she could see some of the old Reid shining through. There was something about the way that he'd just smiled at her that didn't seem like this weird clingy Garcia version of Reid that he'd become. She wondered if it was just wishful thinking on her part though, and maybe she was just seeing what she wanted to see.

He was the only other person who knew had happened that night and she just really wanted to be able to talk to him. She turned to face him and put her hand on top of his.

"I wanted to ask you something…" she said, "I just… I was wondering what you remember from before? Like, what's the last thing you remember from before the explosion?"

He furrowed his brow and peered down at the floor. "I don't really remember much" he said, finally having caught his breath. "I think maybe we were at the station, going over the profile… and I…I don't know why I was even there …I mean… I don't remember the explosion at all."

"And what about before that?" she asked. "I mean, do you remember us leaving the station together?"

"We left the station?" he asked, looking a little worried, "Where were we going?! I mean, why would I be going out in the field?"

JJ looked a little disappointed and shook her head at him. "No, sweetie, don't worry… it doesn't matter" she said, patting his hand, "I'm just getting mixed up."

He stared down at the floor again, frowning a little, and said, "I feel like I've forgotten something… like there's something I should be doing …or something I forgot to do." He looked up at her again suddenly, with fear and concern etched across his face.

"Did we catch the unsub?" he suddenly asked, big hazel eyes so much brighter and clearer, "Are the children okay?! …Did we get them out?!"

She looked at him in shock. Something had changed in his face and she was sure that this was Reid, and not 'Garcia'. He was looking at her with such kindness and concern in the way that the old Reid would have. He seemed to remember! Maybe he was finally back?!

"Oh, my God!" she almost squealed, "Sweetie, do you remember?! Do you remember what happened?!"

"I had to go in" he said, taking hold of her hand, "I know you think I should have waited for backup, I know you think I acted rashly… That it was just another example of me acting recklessly and paying the price for it… but I couldn't let him kill those children… I had to _try_ to talk to him. I had to!"

"I know, Spence" she said, "I know! It's okay!" She was smiling from ear to ear, and tearing up a little. She was just so happy that he'd finally come back. Her little brother was back with them! She thought she might burst from happiness.

"Did we get the kids out?" he asked again.

"You got two of them" she said, eyes brimming with tears, "You carried them out… They're alive because of you!" She put her arms around him and hugged him tight. "You're a hero, sweetie! You're a hero!"

"I am?" he asked, pulling back and frowning at her in a confused way. "What did I do? Why am I a hero?"

"What… what do you mean?" stammered JJ, but her heart sank when she saw his eyes. She already knew. It was like for those few fleeting moments, the real Reid had been back, but now he'd disappeared again, to be replaced once more with this strange version of Garcia. "Oh, sweetie" she sighed sadly.

He shook his head in a bewildered sort of way and shrugged a little. "I don't know what I was saying… I know I was talking… but I keep forgetting things."

"It's okay" she soothed, "It's okay, sweetheart, don't worry…"

"How can I not?!" he snapped at her, "I hate this!" He covered his face in both hands and gave a frustrated sigh. "I can't remember stuff very well… and I keep losing track of what I'm talking about! …I just feel so… stupid!"

"You're not stupid!" she said, shaking her head at him. "It's just gonna take some time to get better, that's all!"

He nodded at her and wiped at a few stray tears that had started to roll down his cheeks. "I think I want to go back to my room now, if that's okay… I'm just really tired."

 **iv.**

"Derek is coming to visit tomorrow!" exclaimed Reid, holding up his phone and smiling at Prentiss, who was sitting at the end of his bed. "He just texted! Look!"

"Really?!" said Prentiss, taking the phone from his hand to look at the message. Morgan hadn't told her that he intended to come in, so she wondered if he'd cleared it with Hotch, or if he was actually going against orders. She looked up at Reid and gave him a big smile. "That's fantastic, Garcia! You must be so excited!"

He nodded and smiled from ear to ear. "It's only for the day…" he said, "He says he can't stay... but I can't wait! ...Emily, I've just missed him so much!"

"Yeah, I know" she said, nodding at him a little sadly. "Well!" she said, suddenly beaming at him and holding up some pink nail varnish. "Why don't we get you ready then? This colour?" she asked, waggling the little bottle at him. Then she put on a silly voice, and asked, "You like?"

Reid laughed and held his hand out for her to do his nails. "Thanks Sugar! I really appreciate all you guys help... I don't know what I'd do without you!"

Prentiss looked up from painting Reid's fingernails and gave him a little wink. "What are friends for?!"

Reid glanced at Prentiss, looking a little embarrassed and then looked away again, staring down at the bed covers. "I was wondering..." he started to ask in a very sheepish tone and blushed bright red.

"Go on" said Prentiss, too engrossed in painting Reid's nails to notice how embarrassed he looked.

"Um... well..." he started again. "I was wondering if you had any ideas..."

Prentiss looked up and saw how red Reid's face had gone. "Garcia, you can ask me anything!" she said, not entirely sure that that was true but that's what girls were supposed to say to other girls, wasn't it? She wasn't sure that she was really ready for whatever it was that he wanted to ask. If he was this embarrassed, it didn't bode well!

Reid looked up, with tears starting to form in his eyes again, and said, "I just don't feel like Morgan sees me the same way that he used to... He doesn't seem to want to... to want to be..." He was clearly struggling to find the right word and the whole thing was proving highly embarrassing. His face was burning bright red. "When we sleep together, that's _all_ we do... I mean when he stays… He doesn't seem to want to go... any _further_... He doesn't seem to want to..."

"TO SLEEP WITH YOU?!" she blurted out, without meaning to sound as shocked as she did. "Sorry, I mean... to sleep with you?" she asked, correcting her tone and looking a little shamefaced.

He furrowed his brows at her for a moment, unsure of what to make of her reaction.

"Uh... yeah" he said, looking back down at his bedsheets. "I mean... I've tried... but he just keeps pushing me away... and I mean… _literally_ pushing my hand away!" He looked back up and tilted his head at her, with tears now streaming down his cheeks, and said, "Am I really that ugly? ...Is it the short hair?!"

"Sweetie! You're not ugly!" she assured him.

In truth, she was finding it hard not to laugh. She did feel bad for thinking it was funny, but this whole thing was just getting weirder and weirder! The image of Morgan having to fight off a frisky and over-amorous Reid just struck her as incredibly funny. How could it not?! Painfully shy and socially awkward Reid getting handsy with the biggest 'ladies' man' that ever lived?! What she wouldn't give to have been a fly on the wall for that! She could just imagine the look on Morgan's face! ' _Oh God, he must have been mortified!'_ she chuckled to herself. She was actually shaking a little from the effort not to laugh.

"Then I don't understand" sighed Reid, "He just… He doesn't seem to want me… not like he used to!"

"Maybe it's just the hospital?" she suggested, "I mean, it's probably a bit of a turnoff... and it's not like you have a lot of privacy in this place with all the nurses coming and going."

"That's what he says" muttered Reid, but he looked a little depressed. "I just want things to go back to normal!" he whined. "I'm going to be stuck in here for at least another couple of weeks! ...I just want my boyfriend back!" He tilted his head at her, looking decidedly uncomfortable, and asked in a whisper "Do you have any ideas... of how to... y'know... 'reignite' things?"

"Umm... oh god..." groaned Prentiss, as she desperately choked back her laughter. This was just too much! How was she supposed to give one male colleague tips on how to seduce another male colleague?! The giggles were coming thick and fast, and she knew that she wouldn't be able to stop once she'd started!

"Um, I'll be back in a minute" she said making a mad dash for the hallway, "Just need the toilet!"

Once out in the hallway, and far enough away that Reid wouldn't hear, she collapsed in a fit of giggles. This was just getting too weird!


	8. Chapter 8

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks once again to Pembie, Dextolan, and Juna Izumi! Your comments mean the world to me so thank you all for taking the time to comment! Really glad you're enjoying it! To anyone else who's reading, I'd really appreciate it if you could let me know what you think. Any feedback at all would be very much appreciated. Genuinely, say anything at all, good or bad. Thumbs up? Thumbs down? Any suggestions?**

 **xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

 **Chapter 8**

Morgan walked into Reid's room, still reeling a little from the meeting he'd just had with the team. They were buried in case files right now, sifting through police reports nationwide to identify any unexplained suicide bombings that could be linked to the explosion Reid was injured in.

So far, they'd identified 18 cases across the country in which young men had taken hostages and then blown themselves up along with their victims. Of the 18 cases that had been identified, the Unsubs had all been between the ages of 22 and 26, but their youth was where the similarities ended.

There didn't seem to be a preferred ethnicity, level of education, or socio-economic background. There was no specific religious group involved and it was clear that none of them had ever been involved with a cult. Nor had they identified themselves as having any kind of link to a terrorist group. In fact, nothing on their personal computers, emails, text messages, or social media accounts pointed to any extremist views of any kind, or even any particularly strong political affiliation. They also had no criminal records, and no affiliations with any known gangs or criminal organisations.

They were just ordinary young men, with ordinary interests, until one day they decided to strap a bomb to their chests and blow themselves up.

From a profiler's point of view, there were none of the usual tell-tale signs. They hadn't been loners. They weren't socially isolated. They didn't even seem angry or resentful. There were no chips on their shoulders. No axes to grind… On the contrary, most seemed to have been very well-liked, even quite popular individuals, with a good circle of family and friends. Most had had stable relationships, and active social lives. On paper, these were truly unexplained cases, with the people who'd known the Unsubs questioning how something like this could have happened. It just didn't make sense!

Garcia was trying to find a link, to understand how the men might have known each other, but so far, she was coming up empty-handed. It was all very frustrating…

So frustrating in fact, that Morgan had decided he needed a break, and what better opportunity to visit Reid on the sly than when everyone else was busy? As far as Hotch knew, he had a doctor's appointment.

Standing here now, just inside the doorway of Reid's room, he couldn't help grimacing a little when he saw him sitting in the armchair by the bed. The younger man hadn't seen him yet, mainly because he had earphones in and he was listening to music with his eyes closed, some kind of poppy tune. He shook his head when he realised that Reid was singing along under his breath and making little high pitched noises to go with the music. It was so 'un-Reid-like', and so much more 'Garcia's style that it broke his heart. Dressed in one of Garcia's tops and a skirt, he looked a little bizarre too. Those long skinny legs of his were crossed at the ankles in a very lady-like pose, and he had his toenails painted pink. He couldn't help thinking that this was all going too far. When were they going to get the real Reid back? He was coming back, wasn't he?!

Suddenly Reid looked up and a huge smile spread across his face. "Derek!" he almost squealed with excitement as he pulled the earphones out, "Don't just stand there! Get over here and give me some sugar!" He held his hand out to him to beckon him over.

Morgan made his way over to the chair and knelt down beside him. He knew that this wasn't the real Reid but it was hard to remember that when he was gazing into those soft hazel eyes of his. He looked up at him and took hold of his hand. "I've missed you" he said honestly, "The last week has been so hard!"

Reid put his hands on either side of Morgan's face and leaned in for a kiss. "I've missed you too" he said, smiling between kisses, "You don't know how much!"

After a few minutes, Morgan pulled back from the kiss, and looked at the younger man properly. He tried to see him for the mentally ill man that he was, and to think about the clothes gracing that thin frame of his now. Their kisses had smeared ruby-red lipstick all over his lips. How embarrassed would Reid be if he could see himself now, he wondered. The man sitting in this chair in front of him now wasn't the man that he'd been in love with for all these years. He wasn't the sweet sensitive genius that got on his nerves and made his stomach flutter in almost equal measure. He wasn't Reid… He was 'Garcia'… Wasn't he? …And yet, his heart told him otherwise.

' _Are you sure that's your heart you're listening to?'_ he asked himself quite cynically, _'Sure you're not thinking with another piece of your anatomy?!'_

Reid gave him a coy little smile and waved for him to move back a little bit. "I have something I want to show you!" he said, gripping onto the arms of the chair and pulling himself up into a standing position. "I can walk now!" he said looking excited and smiling from ear to ear.

He reached for his crutches and showed him how he well he could walk by making his way from one side of the room to the other.

Morgan watched him, walking with great effort, dragging his feet a little, and trembling with exertion.

"Baby?!" he exclaimed, with a look of awe on his face, "I can't believe it!"

Any thought that this wasn't 'Reid' was gone in an instant when he saw the proud look on the other man's face as he looked at him over his shoulder. Those beautiful eyes of his were so lit up and he was beaming back at him with such happiness. How could he resist him when he was like this? So heart-achingly beautiful?

He walked over and putting his arms around Reid's waist from behind. Leaning his head over his shoulder, he kissed him tenderly on the cheek. "I'm so proud of you, sweetheart!" he whispered in his ear, "You have no idea how much!"

Reid giggled a little, and leaned into Morgan's arms, turning his head to kiss him on the lips. Then frowning a little bit, he said, "I wanted to do it without the crutches …but I'm not there yet."

"That's okay" said Morgan, "You'll get there soon! Look how far you've come already."

He led him back over to the armchair, and Reid nodded for him to sit down, and then sat in his lap. Morgan flinched a little from the surprise of having the man of his dreams so close to his crotch, but after a moment's hesitation he put his arms around him and hugged him tight. They sat sharing the set of earphones and listened to some music on Garcia's iPod. Morgan marvelled at how 'right' this all felt, but he couldn't stop himself nervously glancing at the closed door. He knew that he shouldn't be here. He knew that Hotch would be angry with him when he found out. Hell, he might even get suspended over this! He was under no illusion about the risk he was taking in being here. He just couldn't stay away.

There was nowhere else that he wanted to be…

He leaned in to kiss Reid again, and smiled when the younger man returned the kiss passionately and put his hand on the back of his head to pull him in closer. He liked it when Reid took control. Even if he knew that he wasn't fully compos mentis, it made him feel a little better about what they were doing. He could fool himself that this was what Spencer wanted.

Suddenly, mid-kiss, Reid's eyes flew open and he pulled away from him abruptly.

"What the fuck?!" he exclaimed, with a look of shock and disgust on his face, "M-morgan?! What are you doing?!"

Suddenly he was scrambling in a shaky and uncoordinated way to get off Morgan's lap. His limbs weren't doing what he wanted them to do so he ended up almost groping his way off him, and pushing roughly at the older man's groin to try to get up.

Morgan winced a little but clambered to his feet with utter shock and horror etched on his face. "Reid?!" he gasped, tilting his head at him and giving him a questioning look. "Is that you?!"

"What do you mean is it me?!" he shouted back, now on his feet, but wobbling a little, "Who else would I be?! ...What the hell is going on?!"

He kept looking down at the clothes he was wearing with a look of confusion and back up at Morgan accusingly. When Morgan didn't offer an explanation, he clamped his eyes shut and shook his head, before opening them again. It was as though he thought it might help to rectify the situation. When he held his hand up suddenly to look at his perfect pink fingernails, he gave a loud gasp, and then glared at Morgan in anger.

"Why am I dressed like this?!" he demanded to know. Fists clenched tightly by his side and shaking badly. "Is this some kind of sick joke?! Have you guys drugged me or something?! You think this is funny?!"

"What?!" gasped Morgan, "No… Reid…"

"Where am I?!" he asked, not waiting for an answer. He was struggling to stay on his feet as he turned around to look at the hospital room. He looked so lost and afraid.

"You're in the hospital" said Morgan, "You had... There was an explosion..."

Suddenly he looked back at Morgan with a flash of anger in his eyes and brought his hand up to wipe at his mouth. "Why were you kissing me?!" he demanded, "What the hell is wrong with you, Morgan?! You...You had your tongue... Oh God!"

It looked like he wanted to wash his mouth out with soap!

"I'm so sorry!" said Morgan, hanging his head and staring at the floor. He wished that it would open up right now and swallow him. How on earth was he going to explain this to him?!

"You're sorry?!" he repeated, "Morgan, that doesn't happen by accident! You had your fucking tongue in my mouth!"

"Uh… Well, you see... Things have been a bit… _different_ lately." he muttered. He wasn't able to look him in the eye. "It's complicated" he said, reaching out to him, "But I wasn't…I wouldn't... You have to believe me..."

"Get away from me!" yelped Reid, as he looked to the door in panic. "Get your hands off me! Don't you dare touch me!"

"Okay, okay!" soothed Morgan, "I'm just trying to help". He took a step back and held up his hands in front of him. "I'll get the doctors" he said, trying to calm him down, "…and they can explain."

Reid shook his head at him angrily. 'I'll go myself!" he spat at him, "I don't need your _help_!".

He tried to take a step to walk away, but without his crutches he lost his balance nearly immediately and landed heavily on the floor with a bang.

"Mhhmmm" he moaned, as he lay there in a crumpled heap.

"Oh, my God! Baby?! Are you okay?!" cried Morgan, as he dropped to his knees beside him. "Are you hurt?!"

"Morgan?!" moaned Reid, looking up at him with big scared eyes. He looked a little dazed. "What happened?!" he asked, "Why am I on the floor?!"

"You fell" said Morgan, looking at him in confusion. Something had changed in his face again and the 'angry Reid' seemed to have disappeared again. "You were really angry with me?" he said in a slightly questioning way.

"I was angry?!" asked Reid, looking at him anxiously. "Why was I angry? What did you do?!"

"Um… It's not important." he said, stroking the side of his face. "We just need to get you up… I'll get a nurse to check you first, okay?"

Morgan watched anxiously as the nurses helped Reid back into the bed. One of them went to get the doctor to do a few checks. He didn't seem to have injured himself but they wanted to check just to be sure.

He did his best to smile at Reid, but inside his mind was in turmoil. He needed out. He needed out right now! One of the nurses put a blood pressure cuff on Reid's arm and began asking him questions, so he took it as an opportunity to sneak out. Taking his phone out of his pocket, he motioned to Reid that he needed to take the call. "I'll be back in ten" he said, as he slipped out into the corridor.

As soon as he got down the corridor a short distance, he collapsed against the wall. He felt like his heart was going to leap out of his chest as he began to hyperventilate a little. The real Reid had been back for all of about two minutes, and then he'd disappeared again just as suddenly. So, he could come back! That much was clear!

But now there was a much bigger problem! The real Reid obviously wasn't happy at all about what had been going on! He certainly hadn't seemed too keen on a homosexual relationship, and had been absolutely horrified to find himself kissing a man. The look of pure disgust on his face had been heart-wrenching.

Morgan wondered what was he going to do now?! He'd created a mess of gargantuan proportions! This version of Reid wanted to be with him, but he wasn't really 'Reid'. The man who'd let him kiss him earlier was going to disappear some day, without even the slightest warning. Then Reid would come back and that would be that. But that wasn't the worst thing. When the real Reid got here, he'd be furious with him for what he'd done. Maybe he'd even accuse him of molestation?! This was a total nightmare!


	9. Chapter 9

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Apologies for the delay on this chapter, and thank you sooooo much to all my lovely reviewers (Dextolan, Pembie, Juna Izumi, AceAttorneyFantic, and Gawain!) You have no idea how much your comments mean to me. It's so lovely to see an email come through and know that someone is enjoying your writing. Gawain – Sorry I can't send you a PM but just wanted to say that I really appreciate you taking the time to give me feedback** **Hugs to all of you! xx**

 **Chapter 9**

 **i.**

Morgan looked up when he heard the door at the end of the corridor bang open and a gurney was pushed through quickly. Doctors and nurses were crowded around it, and talking loudly, as they rushed along the corridor. Everyone seemed to be competing to be heard over the screams of the young patient.

"…12-year-old…"

"BP elevated… 140 / 92"

"We're gonna need a CBC, LFTs, and a CT scan"

"On it… What about a drug screen?"

"Yeah… Chem panel too."

"Jimmy?! Jimmy, look at me?!" said the doctor nearest the patient's head, "We need you to slow your breathing for us… Just try to calm down… We're just trying to help you, Jimmy…"

Morgan clambered to his feet, and watched as the gurney stopped in front of him, the doctors waiting for the elevator. The patient was a young boy about 12 years old who was clearly in great distress. He was bucking his body off the bed and twisting his head from side to side but they'd used restraints to keep him in place. There were straps around his wrists and ankles, which he was frantically pulling at, but some of the nurses and doctors were having to forcibly hold him down.

The boy roared something unintelligible into the oxygen mask that they had covering his face but began coughing and spluttering, and they had to turn him a little to allow him to vomit.

"Shhh, come on, kid" said one of the doctors as he held the oxygen mask away from the boy's face, and rubbed his back, "Come on… Just breathe…"

The boy's eyes flicked up towards the doctor's for a moment and held him with a gaze of pure hatred.

"Fuck you!" he growled through gritted teeth, vomit still clinging to his chin.

Morgan stepped forward and looked a little closer now that the boy's face was turned towards him. ' _It can't be!'_ he thought to himself, _'It can't!'_

But it was! It was James De Luca from the bombsite! The little boy that Reid had saved! He would have recognised that face anywhere! What on earth had happened to him?!

"He's seizing!" shouted the lead doctor, as the elevator door 'bing-ed' open, "We need to get him to resusc!"

Morgan stood watching as the elevator door closed behind them, and then he pulled his phone out to call Hotch. He needed to know if this had some connection to the case they were working or if it was just a strange coincidence that Jimmy had been brought in gasping for breath. He held the phone to his ear but frowned in confusion when he heard Hotch's ringtone in the hallway. He looked up from his phone to see a dark-haired man right in front of him.

"Hotch?!" he said, with a look of surprise and guilt.

He was just standing there only a few feet away from him; a look of thunder on his face. "Did I not make myself clear?" he asked quietly, his voice stiff with anger.

"Hotch… I… I just…" he began to stammer.

But just then, Rossi walked through the door with his phone to his ear, and threw him a questioning glance as he finished his call. "You got here fast" he said to him, as he put his phone away. There was a little smirk playing on his lips of course. He knew why he was there!

"They've taken him up to resusc" said Hotch, giving Morgan a look that said _'I'll deal with you later'._

Morgan nodded and followed them to the elevator. "Someone want to fill me in on what's going on?" he asked.

 **ii.**

"He's not answering my text messages!" whined Reid, as he stared down at his phone looking upset. "I don't understand! He just left me… He said he was going to take a phone call and then he just sent a nurse to tell me that he'd gone. He was supposed to call me, but he hasn't!"

"He's probably just tied up at work" said Emily, sitting down on the end of his bed and patting his leg. She cocked her head to one side and gave him a sympathetic smile, thinking how hurt and vulnerable he seemed in this moment. "I'm sure he'll give you a call soon" she said, trying to reassure him. She glanced at the door, wondering when everyone else was going to get here and what the big emergency was. 'Get here now' Rossi had text her, and she'd come straight away, but she hadn't been told what was going on. They'd just asked her to babysit Reid and said that they'd put her in the picture later. It was all very cloak and dagger.

Reid shook his head at her. "I fell over, Emily! …I fell over like an idiot …and Derek saw me …It was so embarrassing! You should have seen the way he looked at me! …He couldn't get out of here fast enough! It was like he suddenly didn't want to touch me or have anything to do with me!"

He wiped at the tears that had started rolling down his cheeks and looked up at her with eyes full of hurt.

"Now he's not even answering my messages! And his phone is going straight to voicemail! He just doesn't want to talk to me!"

He wiped at his eyes again with the sleeve of his pyjama top and his chin trembled as he tried not to cry.

"What am I supposed to think?!" he continued, "…Why would he do that?! I mean…Is it…is it… Is it that he doesn't want a…?!" He looked down and motioned at his own body with a look of disgust, "Maybe he just thinks all of _this_ is too much!"

"Garcia! Seriously?!" scolded Emily, as she shook her head at him emphatically, "Morgan would not leave you because you fell over! Or because you can't walk well at the moment! What kind of man do you think he is?! That's completely ridiculous! …He wouldn't do that! You know Morgan wouldn't do that." She reached for his hand and gave him a sad little smile, "He wouldn't! …He loves you!"

She knew that this was all getting into very dangerous territory, and she couldn't help feeling guilty about lying to him like this. but seeing how upset he was about it all, she just wanted to calm him down and make him feel safe. Lying to him seemed like the kinder option right now.

"He'll call you!" she said, nodding at him in as sincere a way as possible.

She looked around the room and noted that this one was a bit more swish than the one he'd been in up to now. He had a flat screen TV up on the wall and his own little bathroom.

"Why did they move you in here?" she asked, trying to change the subject and distract him a little, "Did Rossi pull some strings for you? Pretty fancy, eh?!"

He shrugged and wiped at his eyes again. "I don't know… Maybe? …They just came and moved me late last night…" he said, gazing around the room. "Everyone's been acting really weird and I'm starting to get a little freaked!"

"What do you mean?" asked Emily, looking at him with a mixture of concern and curiosity. "What's going on?"

Reid glanced at the door to his room to make sure there was no one there and beckoned for Emily to lean in so he could whisper to her. "The nurses keep talking about me… All they do is whisper! They're always outside my room whispering and looking at me weirdly… I don't know what they're doing but it's making me really nervous. It's like there's some big joke that I'm not a part of!"

Emily grimaced a little, thinking about the fact that Reid was starting to pick up on the dishonesty of the people around him, and wondered how long it would be before he realised that his 'family' was lying to him too. She thought how hurt he would be when he found out the truth.

"I'm sure it's not like that!" she said, starting to blush a little red but hoping that her guilt and discomfort wouldn't show too much.

"It is!" he said, nodding at her in an insistent sort of way, "They all seem to think that there's something really funny!"

He glanced again at the doorway as though he was worried that someone would overhear what he said. Keeping his voice really low, he looked at Emily with big worried eyes.

"Some new doctor came to see me too…" he whispered, "He kept asking me weird questions…"

"What kind of questions?" asked Emily, furrowing her brow at him. She could see how scared and upset he was and wanted to be supportive and put his mind at ease. "I'm sure it was just routine" she said, giving his leg another little pat.

Reid looked down, flushing red in the face, and looked ashamed and embarrassed. He glanced up at Emily and tears started to roll down his cheeks again.

"He kept asking me what I look like!" he said, unable to maintain eye contact with her. "He gave me a mirror and he asked me to describe myself… so I did… and the nurse that was with him just started to laugh!"

"Oh, sweetheart!" exclaimed Emily, biting her lower lip in a nervous kind of way. "I don't think she'll have meant anything by it!" she said, feeling a little sick at the thought of him finding out what the joke really was. This was all getting so sick and twisted.

He stared off into space with a very sad expression on his face, and then lifted his hand and started to chew one of his pink manicured finger nails.

"Am… am I just really ugly now?"

"God, no!" she gasped.

"Morgan seems to think so" he sighed, "Y'know… me and Morgan? …We haven't had sex since this happened and …I don't think he even wants to!"

She did feel sorry for him but she was also finding it hard not to laugh, more out of nerves than anything else. She couldn't imagine the real Reid ever speaking quite so bluntly about sex. An image of his flustered little face flashed through her mind as she imagined him trying to initiate sex. He'd be so shy, so awkward… Even just saying the words would probably put him in a tailspin! It just wasn't something he'd be comfortable with!

She moved up the bed to sit beside him, putting her arm around his shoulder, and leaned her head against his.

"Hey" she said, in a soft and soothing voice, "I don't think it's like that, sweetie… It'll be okay, you'll see!"

She held him as he cried in her arms and wondered what on earth they were going to do now! Morgan had all but done a disappearing act since yesterday, under the strictest orders from Hotch, but how were they going to explain that to a heartbroken 'Garcia'?! This was just so difficult for everyone involved!

After what seemed like an eternity, he seemed to have calmed down, so she gave his shoulder a little squeeze. "Maybe we could watch a movie?" she suggested.

He lifted his head and looked at her in an embarrassed sort of way.

"Yeah, maybe" he said, glancing nervously at the doorway. He looked back at her and blushed a little red. "Could I ask you a favour, Emily? Please?" he asked, looking decidedly shamefaced.

"Yeah, course" she replied, wondering what this favour was going to entail. If he looked this embarrassed, she figured it wasn't going to be something easy.

"Um… Could you…" he said, faltering a little and looking anxiously at the door again, "Could you help me go to the toilet?" He could see how uncomfortable she looked with the whole idea, so he added, "I just don't want those nurses laughing at me anymore! …I really need to go! …Please Emily?!"

She flushed bright red and wondered if there was any way that she could get out of it. This was all just getting too weird! She'd never helped anyone on and off a toilet before, and certainly not a man! Looking at him now though, with his big plaintive eyes and wounded expression, she knew that she couldn't say no.

"Um… okay…" she said, glancing desperately at the door again and willing one of the others to walk through it and save her. No-one came! She got to her feet and dithered by the side of the bed feeling really unsure about what to do. "How… how do we?" she asked, with her face burning bright red with the embarrassment of it all.

"Just help me get up" said Reid, pulling himself over to the side of the bed and holding out one of his arms to put around Emily's shoulder. "I just can't manage it with my crutches" he said, hoisting himself to his feet in a wobbly way.

She led him slowly into his private little bathroom and they stood in front of the toilet. "Um… okay….so, now what?" asked Emily, doing her best to sound relaxed about what they were doing.

Reid bit his bottom lip and gave her an embarrassed little glance. "You'll need to help me… with my pyjama bottoms" he said, motioning with his eyes.

She took a deep breath and did as he asked, pulling his pyjama shorts down, and then lowering him onto the toilet seat. She wondered at the fact that she was so uncomfortable with this whole thing. At the end of the day, she reasoned with herself, it wasn't like it was anything that she hadn't seen before! It was just a man with his pants down. Just a penis. Why was this all so embarrassing?! She figured it was probably more to do with the confusion of the situation. She knew that Reid would never have asked her to do this if he'd been in his right mind, and that he'd probably be mortified if he knew what was going on. In some ways, she almost felt like she was doing something very untoward, and taking advantage of him in some way.

She turned away, and listened to him pee, wishing that the ground would open up and swallow her completely. When he'd finished, she turned back around to help him get up but she realised as soon as she looked at him that something was wrong.

He was looking down at the pink pyjama shorts gathered around his feet and holding his hands out in front of him as though he'd never seen them before. There was a look of shock and horror on his face and then he looked up at her.

"Wh-What?!" he stammered, as his eyes darted around the small bathroom and then back to her. "Where am I?!" he asked her, trying to stand up, "What the hell is going on?!"

"Oh God!" she exclaimed, covering her mouth with her hand as he struggled to stand up.

In a flash, she'd put two and two together and realised that this was the real Reid. It was amazing how much his face had changed in just a moment or two. He was still wearing makeup but his expression was undeniably 'Reid-ish' now and she could see how distressed he was to find himself here in this bathroom, with her… with no explanation.

"Uh, Reid… I'll need to help you." she stammered, nodding down at his pyjama shorts so he'd see that he was in a state of undress. "You can't walk well. I'll need to help you."

"What?!" he snapped at her, and gave her a dirty look. "Stay away from me!" he growled, taking his hand off the handrail beside the toilet and trying to stoop to pick up the shorts.

As soon as he began to bend down, he wobbled badly and nearly lost his balance, before gripping onto the handrail again and righting himself. He shook his head, realising that he couldn't walk, and gave a heavy sigh in a defeated sort of way.

"Just? …Please?" he asked her, looking thoroughly humiliated and motioning with his head to the shorts around his ankles.

She pulled the shorts up for him, flushing bright red in the face, as he watched her crouch down in front of him. Helping the Garcia version of Reid was one thing, but helping Reid, now that he was fully aware of what was going on, was quite another!

"I'll help you back to the bed" she said, tentatively pulling his arm over her shoulder to support him as they walked. He gave in, looking thoroughly miserable, and they wobbled their way back out into the room and towards the bed.

"Emily, what the hell is going on?!" he asked, looking at her angrily, as though all of this was her fault. "Where are we?! Am I in hospital?!"

"Yes… this is the hospital" she said, lowering him onto the side of the bed and taking his hand in hers. "You were in an explosion, and you have a head injury."

He put his hand on his head, and began feeling all over it, stopping when he found the large scar and the feeling of four little screws under the flesh. His eyes widened at her and he said, "They operated?!"

She nodded and gave him a sad little smile. "You were in a coma for 6 weeks… You only woke up a few weeks ago."

"But… but I can't have" he said, frowning and shaking his head at her. "I just … just woke up now… I haven't…" he stammered, looking down at his feet and legs. "Why do I have pink toenails?!" he asked, straightening his leg out in front of him. "Why are my legs shaved?!"

She sat down on the side of the bed beside him and put her hand on his shoulder. "Things have been a bit confused." she said, squeezing his shoulder and giving him a pitying little smile. "I think maybe I should go and get the doctors for you and they can explain?" she said, starting to get up.

"No!" he said, grabbing her hand and pulling her back down onto the bed beside him. "Please, Emily?! Just tell me!" he pleaded, with fear in his eyes. "Why am I wearing these clothes?! What on earth is going on?! …I need to know!"

She nodded slowly, and stared down at the floor, wondering where to start. "You thought you were a girl" she said, looking back up at him and tilting her head sympathetically. "You thought you were Garcia!"

"But… but I am Garcia" he said, looking at her in a confused way, "What are you talking about?!"

And just like that, Reid was gone again.

"We were just talking about the explosion…?" ventured Emily.

"Were we?" he asked, looking down at the ground and shaking his head slightly. "I don't remember what we were talking about." His eyes began to fill with tears and he looked at her with obvious fear etched across his face. "Why is this happening to me?! I keep forgetting stuff! …It's like I just go away for a while and when I come back people are being really weird! …What is wrong with me?!"

She put her arm around his shoulder again to comfort him, "I think we need to speak to the doctors about this, sweetie."

"Okay" he said, nodding his head sadly and hugging his arms around himself. "I'm just… I'm such a mess!" he sobbed.


	10. Chapter 10

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: So once again, thank you sooo sooo sooo much to my wonderful reviewers (Dextolan, AceAttorneyFantic, Gawain, Juna Izumi, and Pembie!) I am so happy you're all enjoying this story! Gawain – Thank you for the encouragement. You really spurred me on to get my arse into gear and write you a new chapter sooner rather than later! Really hope you all like this onef.**

 **xox**

 **Chapter 10**

The young boy had finally stilled. He lay limp and sweaty, and covered in vomit in the bed. The nurses fussed around him, using wipes to clean his mouth, and stripping him of his soiled hospital clothing. Heart monitor stickers were swiftly reattached to his chest, after he'd ripped them off, and a pulse-ox monitor was reattached to his index finger, as well as an oxygen mask over his face. All things they hadn't been able to do when he was conscious. He'd fought long and hard yesterday when he was first admitted, and resisted every attempt to calm him, so they'd had to sedate him in the end. They'd been hoping he would be more reasonable when he woke up this morning but sadly that hadn't been the case. They'd had to put him out again for his own safety and that of the staff.

"Is he gonna be alright?" asked Hotch, as he gazed down at the newly sedated child. He wasn't much older than Jack. "Do you know what's wrong with him?"

The doctor had allowed Hotch to come in, mainly because he'd flashed his FBI credentials, but also because he'd claimed to know the boy and they hadn't managed to locate a family member as yet. "It might be good for him to see a familiar face" he'd said, before leading him into the treatment room, "Maybe having someone he knows will help calm him down?"

Of course, it hadn't helped. He'd snarled and spat, and tried to bite anyone that came near him, so much so that they'd actually ordered a rabies test. Thankfully, it had come back negative.

"We're working on a few theories" said the doctor as he picked up the patient file from the end of the bed and glanced through the notes, "There's nothing showing up in his bloodwork… at least not drugs, anyway… I was thinking meth, or something like that, but so far he's negative for any known narcotic… He does seem to have a mild hormone imbalance but I don't think it would be enough to produce abnormal behaviour like this… so I'm leaning towards him being a psych case… Maybe childhood schizophrenia?"

"Are you sure?" asked Hotch, "No psychotropic substances? Nothing mind-altering?"

"If he did, it's worked its way through his system" sighed the doctor, "Of course, the effects can be long-lasting even after the drug has left the system… I can't rule out drug-induced psychosis."

"There's nothing physical then?" he asked.

"Well, actually, his lungs are in pretty bad shape" sighed the doctor, "I read that he was in an explosion a few months ago, but there's nothing in his notes about the scarring to the lung tissue? Just minor abrasions and a sprained wrist… But this?! This is like he's been breathing pesticide for months."

"Pesticide?" asked Hotch.

The doctor nodded and put the clipboard back at the end of the bed before sticking his pen in the breast pocket of his coat. "Whatever he's been breathing" he said, "It's some pretty nasty stuff… I've seen this kind of thing in sweatshop workers, sometimes when meth labs blow up… that kind of thing…"

Hotch gave a tense little nod. He was starting to connect the dots in his head.

"We're working on some cases where the Unsubs… the uh… 'perpetrators' had severely damaged lung tissue…" he said, "Would you be willing to take a look for similarities? I could have my tech analyst send you the autopsy reports?"

"You think the boy's connected?" asked the doctor.

"The explosion two months ago" he said with a nod, "The bomber had lung damage… I think there may have been chemicals in the warehouse… Something that's affecting the boy's mind as well as his lungs."

"Send me the reports" agreed the doctor, "I'll be happy to take a look."

"Thank you, Doctor" said Hotch, as he took his phone out to call Garcia and began to walk towards the hallway. He stood in the waiting area and pressed call.

"Well, hello there, Bossman" she answered, her fingers still dancing over her keyboard as she spoke, "Ask and you shall receive."

"Garcia" he said, the corners of his lips quirking a little at her greeting, "Got anything for me?"

"Fraid not" she sighed dramatically, "No sign of them. Phones are dead, no emails, no messages… no credit card activity, nothing… Little Matty De Luca was all over social media until 4 days ago, then poof! Radio silence… I hate to say it, but…"

"Then don't" he sighed, "Right now, I need you to track down Fernando Lopez and his family."

"Fernando Lopez?" she queried, as her fingers flew over the keys, "We're talking sweet little Nando Lopez?! That gorgeous little angel, saved by our own adorable little baby genius?! That Fernando Lopez?"

"Yes, Garcia" he said with a little snort, "That Fernando Lopez" He couldn't help but be disarmed by Garcia's mother hen attitude towards the team, especially the youngest.

"Found him!" she smiled, "122 Paradiso Heights…"

"Phone number?" he asked.

"Sending" she replied, "You don't think something bad's happened to him too?"

"I hope not, Garcia" he said with an uneasiness in his voice, "I really hope not."

"Agent Hotchner?" he heard the doctor call from down the corridor.

"Thanks Garcia" he said, as he closed the call and turned to look at the doctor again.

"Where'd you say the poor kid's parents are?" the doctor asked, "We can't get a hold of them."

Hotch gave a sad nod. "We've been trying to get in touch with the mother since yesterday…" he answered, "She's a nurse, a single mom… usually leaves the boy with his older brother Matthew when she's working. She didn't show up to work on Wednesday, and we haven't been able to locate the older boy either… We've got an APB out on them but so far, nothing…"

"You think something's happened to them?" asked the doctor, with a glance of sadness back towards the boy's room, "Do you think he was involved?"

"We can't know that until the family's been found" sighed Hotch, "…but right now, it's not looking good."

 **ii.**

"No!" shouted Reid, as he huddled in the bed and glared angrily at all the worried faces gathered around him. "You can't make me!"

"Sweetie!" sighed JJ, as she sat down beside him on the bed and tilted her head at him pleadingly. "Please?! It's just a couple of scans… They'll be over before you know it!"

Hotch had spoken to his doctors and raised his concerns about possible lung damage. They were taking him down to do a full MRI just in case.

"I'm not doing them without Morgan and you can't make me!" he yelled at her, shaking his head adamantly and pushing at her to get off his bed. "I don't want any of you people poking and prodding at me anymore! I'm so sick of it! …I just want my boyfriend… Where is he?!" he shouted, starting to cry and wiping angrily at his tears. He caught one of the nurses trying to stifle her laughter and glared at her with pure hatred. "You all keep laughing at me too!" he cried, pointing at her and looking decidedly hurt, "This isn't funny!"

Hotch gave the nurse a withering look before turning back to Reid. "We know it's not funny!" he said, in as soothing a voice as he could muster, "It's not funny at all! …But I'm sorry Garcia, we need to check you over physically. All the doctors want to do is an MRI… I won't hurt. I promise you."

Seeing Reid behaving this way was really getting to him and he was finding it hard to hide his own discomfort. He really wished that they could have the real Reid back and then they could all move on and forget about this sorry mess. There was something so heartbreakingly pathetic about him now, balled up at the head of the bed, with a pair of pink pyjamas and a face full of make-up. He hated to think of him as the laughing stock that he was quickly becoming and shuddered to think what would happen if any of this got out around the Bureau. So far, they'd managed to keep Strauss out of things, and no-one at the BAU knew about his identity crisis other than the team. As far as anyone else knew, he was simply recuperating and having intense physiotherapy to regain his strength. Nothing unusual in that! If the truth were to come out somehow, they knew he would be humiliated. Not only that, but they'd certainly share in the blame for going along with it. How was he ever going to forgive them when he found out?!

JJ reached for Reid's hand but he angrily yanked it away and shook his head at her again. "I'm not doing it!" he growled at her.

"Sweetheart, you have to!" said JJ, knitting her brows together and looking at him in concern. "We have to see what's going on inside you… You know that something isn't right."

He pulled his arms across his chest and pouted at her in a childish way. "I don't care! …I'm not agreeing to any scans… or any tests… until I get to see Morgan! I want my boyfriend! …I _need_ him!"

Garcia gave a heavy sigh and shook her head at JJ in exasperation. She'd come in to see Reid with the intention of setting up camp and working from there in order to free up the rest of the team. It hadn't really worked out as planned though! As soon as she'd arrived with her laptop, Reid had insisted that it was his, and tried to take it off her by force. It was only the arrival of Hotch and the doctor that had prevented it turning into a full-on cat-fight!

' _Is this really how Reid sees me?!'_ she thought to herself a little angrily, _'I'm never this whiny! I'm a strong independent kind of gal (hear me roar!), and I sure as hell wouldn't need a man to hold my hand to get an MRI done!'_ She gave a little smirk at her own thoughts. _'No matter how gorgeous that man happens to be!'_ she added silently.

"I want Morgan!" Reid whined again, "Why isn't he here?!"

"I left him a message" said JJ.

"I'll get him to come in" said Garcia, giving Reid a little half-smile in an attempt to be reassuring, "I'm sure he'll want to be here".

This had truly gone beyond the point of weird! Morgan had been acting oddly with her since yesterday. She'd called him earlier about the case, and he'd ignored every attempt she'd made to flirt with him. Even her pet names for him hadn't provoked a reaction. Not a 'baby girl', not a 'goddess'…. Nothing! It was almost like he'd turned into an impossibly gorgeous chocolatey version of Hotch. All stiff upper lip and 'by the book, ma'am' responses. This wasn't the Derek Morgan that she knew! Something serious had obviously happened! She just didn't know what.

Of course, she knew that Hotch and he had had a fight. She wasn't proud of herself but she'd used the security cameras to spy on them, and watched the heated exchange that took place between them. She'd never seen the two men face off against each other in this way. It was almost like two silver-back gorillas circling each, sniffing and snorting, and getting ready to beat their chests! It was a wonder it hadn't come to blows the way they were looking at each other. Morgan had left the office, almost taking the door off its hinges, and sat at his desk the rest of the evening with a face like thunder. Even she hadn't dared to approach him when he was like that! She didn't have a death wish…

She just wished that she knew what it was about.

"I'll go and call him now?" she said, looking to Hotch for approval, "If… if that's okay… sir?"

He gave her a curt little nod, obviously not too thrilled about the idea, but giving in for Reid's sake.

Out in the waiting area of the hospital, she took her phone out of her bag and scrolled to Morgan's number. Pressing call for the umpteenth time today, her face fell when it went straight to voicemail, and she left him another message asking him to call back. What was going on?!

 **iii.**

"That's it, breathe in deeply" said a hazy voice, drifting into his hazy mind from somewhere behind his head, "Breathe in… and… breathe out… Just keep looking at the screen… You want to be like him, don't you? You see how strong he is… how brave?"

He tried to do as the voice told him, to breathe in and out normally, but the smell was horrible. It was making him feel sick. It was a strange mix of sweet metallic that set his teeth on edge, and something else… maybe sulphur? Like rotten eggs. Whatever it was, it was making his stomach churn and churn…

He wanted to close his eyes. He tried, but something was keeping them open! Something that hurt! It was like little metal claws were gripping his eyelids, keeping them open wide, and every time he tried to close them the flesh tore a little. It hurt! It really hurt!

He must have whimpered a little because he heard the person behind him come closer.

"It's okay" said the voice, and he saw a hand hover a small white bottle above his face. He stared up at it in fear. What were they going to do?! Were they about to blind him?!

"Mhrrrrmmmm!" he cried, as a cold stinging liquid flooded first one eye, and then the other. For a moment, he thought they'd put acid in there, and was waiting with baited breath for the world to go black. When it didn't, he breathed a sigh of relief, only to realise that he couldn't move either of his eyes! They were frozen in place. Paralysed!

His heart began to race. Adrenalin filling his bloodstream… All he wanted to do was get up and run away!

' _No no no noooo!'_ he screamed inside his own head when he realised his whole body was paralysed, ' _This can't be happening!'_ He couldn't move a thing! He was completely helpless!

All he could do was watch the flickering screen in front of him. The brightness of it seemed to be bombarding his senses. Colours bled out towards him, pulling at him, almost like he was being sucked into the screen. The words were reverberating around his head, again and again, and he found himself repeating the words, over and over. He was repeating what was being said without wanting to, reciting things in his head like a shopping list. It was completely involuntary! Why was he doing it?!

On the screen, he could see a man painstakingly building a bomb, in slow step-by-step stages, and he was explaining with subtitles each component part. He was using home ingredients and detailing what quantities to use. How household objects like nails and broken glass could be very effective in causing maximum damage. He sounded so cheery about it, as though he was giving a recipe for homemade jam!

"You want to be like him" said the voice again, so close to him he could feel warm breath on his ear, "You see how organised he is… How meticulous… You can be just like him… I can make you just like him…"

The mask on his face was relentlessly pumping gas into his lungs. That sickly-sweet chill giving him shivers down his spine with each inward breath, but he couldn't stop. He tried to hold his breath but it didn't work. All that did was make him want to vomit! His heart thumped and thumped, painfully trying to escape his chest, as the panic overtook him. He didn't want this! He didn't!

"Gnnnnoooo!" he called out, when he realised what was happening on the screen. The man had walked into a diner and taken the customers hostage. He had a bomb strapped to his chest and a gym bag loaded with additional explosives… He was ordering the hostages onto their knees at gunpoint… Then he was grinning at the camera with his thumb on a detonator…

"You'll see" said the voice, and a cool hand gently stroked his forehead, "His death was beautiful… Just like yours is going to be… You'll see…"


	11. Chapter 11

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you once again to my lovely reviewers (Pembie, Gawain, Dextolan and PoxyTraitors - Thank you sooooooo so much. Your reviews mean a lot to me!) Sorry it's taken me so long to post a new chapter. Hope you like this one! :-)

To anyone else reading this, it would be really nice if you could leave a comment. Literally one or two words. As I've said before, any feedback at all is welcome. Thumbs up, thumbs down, anything? Is it too weird? Is it confused? Is there repetitive language that's getting on your nerves? Is it one of the most stupid stories you've ever read? haha! Seriously, anything at all?

 **Chapter 11**

24 hours later…

"How long has he been in there now?!" asked Garcia, nervously twisting her hands and glancing over at Emily as they sat in the waiting area. "It wasn't meant to take this long, was it?!"

Emily looked up from the magazine that she was pretending to read and gave a huff of exasperation. Garcia had asked that question twenty times already and if she wasn't asking that then she was phoning Hotch, Rossi and JJ to find out if there was any news on Morgan. He hadn't answered anyone's calls yet and even Garcia, with all her techy knowhow, hadn't managed to track him down. They were beginning to worry and everyone's nerves were wearing thing.

"It's an aneurysm!" snapped Emily, "He's not having an ingrown toenail removed! It'll take as long as it takes!"

They'd discovered damage to Reid's lungs as a result of the explosion. It wasn't as severe as that of the young boy, but it was worrying. The doctors said that he would probably have some breathing problems in later life. Of more concern had been the brain lesions caused by the fumes he had inhaled. Acting almost like a solvent, he had developed some areas of necrotic tissue, and one of the blood vessels had become very enlarged and was putting pressure on the frontal lobe. They were hopeful that surgery would resolve the issue and that, with a bit of luck, the old Reid would be back permanently. Now it was just a waiting game, and Emily and Garcia had agreed to be the one to stay and wait.

"You pecking at my head every few minutes isn't going to speed things up!" complained Emily.

"Okay!" Garcia snapped back, "I'm just worried about him, okay?! My sweet little baby cheeks is in there getting his head chopped open, that beautiful big brain of his, in some surgeon's hands?! ...How am I not supposed to be all kinds of messed up?!" She started looking up at the ceiling and fanning her eyes to stop from crying. "Just because you can hold it together, like some kind of ice maiden, it doesn't mean everyone can!"

"Garcia" sighed Emily, " I didn't mean..."

"So, I'm freaking out, because that's what I do" she continued, ignoring the half-hearted apology. She wiped at her tears delicately so as not to smear her makeup, "I'm freaking out about two of my babies right now... about my little baby genius in there, and now Morgan too! So, you're gonna have to cut me some slack if I peck your head a little, because you're the only person here, and I don't know any other way to be! I don't know how to not blink. Look at me, Emily, I'm blinking like a crazy woman, right here!" She glanced back over at her, a little out of breath from her impassioned speech and gave her a determined look. "Okay?!" she challenged.

"Okay" answered Emily.

"Okay then" nodded Garcia.

"I'm sure he's okay" said Emily, sounding less than convincing, "He's probably just gone to blow off some steam... This whole thing... It has to have been hard on him... Pretending."

"I guess" sighed Garcia, "But, I mean, why would he do this?! He knows what it means to just disappear, to go off the radar …I just don't think he'd scare us like this."

"You know how angry he was" she replied, "How big that fight with Hotch was... Maybe he just got trashed and hooked up with someone..." She failed to see the hurt expression on Garcia's face and gave a nervous little laugh. "He'll probably come slinking back with his tail between his legs... That sheepish grin on his face..."

"Yeah" said Garcia, "Probably..." She took her phone out of her bag and checked for any messages. "Nothing! ...I've sent him a couple of messages to tell him what's happening with Reid. I mean, he wouldn't ignore something as serious as that... An aneurysm?! You know how much he cares about that boy."

"Maybe he didn't get them?" ventured Emily.

"That's what I'm worried about" she replied, "Why isn't he getting them?! I mean, what will our junior G-man say when he wakes up and finds out he still isn't here?! We promised him!"

"We should probably be more worried about what he's going to say when he wakes up and finds out what the two of them have been doing!" replied Emily, with a little grimace, " I mean, if the operation's successful, and they relieve the pressure, then we're gonna have shy little Spencer Reid back with us, and you know how easily embarrassed he is... What's he gonna say when he finds out how much 'closer' he and Morgan have become? He's not gonna be a happy Reid, I'm telling you now!"

"Morgan didn't mean for those things to happen!" she said, sounding defensive on his behalf, mainly because she didn't want to believe that the object of her desires was in any way into what had been happening in that hospital room. "He stopped him from doing anything... from letting it go too far."

"But stuff still happened" shrugged Emily, "And Reid'll be embarrassed when he finds out... I don't know how we're gonna explain to him why we let Morgan behave like his boyfriend... He might think he's been taking advantage of him... and we basically endorsed it. We've messed up!" She shook her head in wonder, "How do you think he's going to feel about that?"

"But they didn't actually do anything!" exclaimed Garcia, "Morgan would never have let it get that far, you know that."

"It went far enough from what Hotch said yesterday" she said, wrinkling her nose a little, "The touching, the kissing... Reid won't be happy. I mean, there's the stuff you have to do when you go undercover, I get that... but this seems..."

"You're not seriously accusing Morgan of... of behaving inappropriately?" she gasped.

"No, of course not" said Emily, "I don't mean like that... I just think he might have made some poor decisions..." She shook her head a little disapprovingly, "I mean, come on Garcia, a nurse said she saw Reid put his hand inside Morgan's pants!"

"And she also said Morgan stopped it immediately" she defended, " Reid's hand in his pants, not the other way around! And he got out of the bed as soon as he woke up and realised what was happening... It wasn't like he was into it."

"But he didn't report it?" grimaced Emily, "Come on, you can see how this looks from Hotch's point of view? Morgan knew Reid was ill, Garcia. He knew that, and he still climbed in that bed with him... and when things got out of hand, he didn't raise his concerns. He didn't go to Hotch and say 'You know what, sir? I'm not comfortable with my colleague fondling my junk'... He didn't say a word, just kept it quiet... That's what looks bad!"

"He was protecting Reid" argued Garcia, "Don't you think that would be even more embarrassing for him?! Hotch knowing that he did that?! That he basically felt Morgan up?!"

"There's protocol" said Emily, "It's there for a reason."

"Yeah, and how often do we, as a team, break protocol?" asked Garcia.

Emily nodded, she couldn't argue with that. "I still think he should have said something..."

"Yeah, well, maybe he should... but he was probably embarrassed too... and he probably thought it was easier if he just said nothing."

Emily nodded again. "And I'm not saying he did anything intentionally" she said, "But, you have to admit, it doesn't look good!" She sighed as she watched Garcia check her phone for the millionth time today. "He probably is embarrassed" she ventured, "Hotch called him out on it, and it's forced him to look at his actions in a new light. Maybe he doesn't like what he sees? I mean, especially with his history..."

"Oh, you did not just go there!" gasped Garcia.

"No, I don't mean like that!" replied Emily, "But he's bound to start overthinking it... you know, the abused becoming the abuser? Maybe it's freaking him out and he just needs some time to process things?"

"So, you really think he's okay?" asked Garcia, still sounding thoroughly unconvinced.

"We just have to focus on Reid now" she nodded, "And you know what the doctors said… They don't know what way Reid is going to wake up! If he's still 'you' when he wakes up… then he's really gonna need us here... Especially if Morgan is still AWOL."

Garcia sat forward and put her head in her hands. "This is such a nightmare!" she groaned, "I just wish I could wake up and everything would be back to normal... You know, like Dorothy?"

Emily looked up at her in a startled way and began to laugh. "Oh god!" she gasped, covering her mouth, "That's so funny!"

"What?" asked Garcia, confused by her friend's sudden change in mood.

"Dorothy!" giggled Emily, as she began to wipe tears from her eyes.

"Yeah... so?" asked Garcia, smiling despite herself, "Like in the Wizard of Oz? You know, ruby slippers?" It was unusual to see Emily laugh, let alone crack up hysterically, so she couldn't help being surprised.

"You're Dorothy!" she wheezed out through laughter and tears.

"Yes, Dorothy" said Garcia, starting to get a little impatient, "Judy Garland, over the rainbow... I just don't get why this is so funny?!"

"If you're Dorothy" she gasped out, holding her stomach, "Then that makes Reid and Morgan 'Friends of Dorothy'..." She shook her head in amusement at her own joke. "And considering what's been happening..."

Garcia tried to look annoyed. It was such a stupid joke, but there was something kind of sweet about Emily finding this whole thing so funny. "That's really bad" she said, as her face broke into a silly grin, "I mean, really Emily, that has to be one of the worst jokes I've ever heard!"

"Then why are you laughing?" asked Emily.

"I could ask the same thing" came a male voice.

"Hotch?!" gasped Emily, suddenly sobering as quickly as she'd begun to laugh, "Any news?!"

He gave a curt little shake of the head and handed them a tray with decent takeaway coffees, not bought in the hospital.

"What about Reid?" he asked as he sat down beside Emily, "He should have been out by now, shouldn't he?"

Garcia glanced at Emily and gave her a 'told you so' raise of the eyebrows.

"Not yet" replied Emily.

"Really, sir?" asked Garcia, "No word from Morgan? No sign of him?"

"Rossi and JJ are at his apartment right now" he said, looking concerned, "There's no answer, no sign of forced entry, but he's not picking up..."

"This is bad, isn't it?" gasped Garcia.

"Lets try not to overreact" said Hotch, giving her a tiny imperceptible smile that did nothing to hide his tense body language, "We don't know anything yet."

"What about that kid?" asked Garcia, "Have you located his family?"

"No" replied Hotch, "No sign of them either. House was empty. Neighbours said they haven't seen them for nearly a week... I hate to say it, but all we have is a lot of dead ends, and an agent, who as of yet is unaccounted for."

They all fell silent. Surely, Morgan going missing couldn't have anything to do with the Unsub? That would mean stepping completely outside his normal victimology. The bombers were all in their early to mid twenties before, and of a much more low-profile type. Being an agent of the FBI put Morgan in a completely different category... and he was far too old... Wasn't he?!

Hotch looked at his watch again and stared at the double doors hoping that the doctors would come back soon. All this waiting was making him feel sick with anxiety. Waiting to hear back from Rossi and JJ, or from Morgan himself. Waiting to hear if local law enforcement had managed to locate either of the boys' missing families. Waiting to see if any of Garcia's leads turned up anything. And most pressing in this moment, waiting to hear if Reid's op had gone okay... He hated waiting!

And the last thing he wanted was to have to sit here with Garcia and Prentiss, with them looking at him like this, but he knew that he couldn't leave until he knew how Reid was. He was scared! Reid hadn't actually consented to any of the tests, or to the subsequent surgery. He'd had to be dragged there kicking and screaming, and they'd had to forcibly sedate him. As his medical proxy, Hotch had been given the final say. Reid had blamed him of course, calling him 'a mean man on an ego trip' and threatening to set 'his chocolate God of thunder' on him for 'revenge'. Now he couldn't help worrying. What if Reid was unlucky?! What if he didn't make it through?! He wouldn't be able to live with himself if that happened.

They'd said that 1% of patients died during the procedure, and 3-4% of patients suffered stokes or brain haemorrhages. As far as brain surgeries went, those were pretty good odds, but that was five people in a hundred! What if Reid was one of the unlucky ones?! He didn't know how he could ever deal with that! His heart hurt just thinking about it! And what if he made it through but he just wasn't the same after? What if they never got their 'Reid' back?!

Suddenly the doors swung open and the neurosurgeon walked through the doors in his surgical scrubs and pulled the cap off his head. "It went well, guys" he said, giving them a big smile as he walked towards them, "No complications ...Exactly as planned."

"Can we see him?!" asked Garcia, now up on her feet and looking up at him with a nervous smile. "Is he awake?"

"Not yet" said the surgeon, "He's in recovery… but we'll send someone to get you when it's okay to go in there… Not all of you at once though… He's been through a lot!" He gave them a little smile and walked away to speak to one of the nurses.

 **ii.**

Garcia teetered into the recovery room on much too high heels, with Emily trailing behind her, and made her way over to Reid's bed. He was still asleep and linked up to a heart monitor that was beeping away beside him. She let out a sigh of relief and lifted his hand in hers. "Reid?" she murmured softly, reaching out gently to caress the side of his face, "Spencer, sweetie, can you open your eyes?"

Emily glanced at her a little nervously, wondering whether it was a good idea to call him 'Reid' before they knew what the state of play was. There was every chance that he could still be 'Garcia' and calling him Reid would just be thoroughly confusing for him.

Garcia peered down at his peaceful face and wondered at how young and fragile he looked. Without all the makeup he'd been wearing lately, he just looked like a sick teenage boy. Maybe even a cancer patient on the paediatrics ward. His head was shaved again, giving him that pale and pallid appearance that looked particularly shocking, especially with the train track of staples now gracing his scalp. He looked anything but well.

Despite his less than healthy looks, she was relieved to see him looking more 'Reid' and less 'her'. She wanted the old Reid back. Hopefully, the Garcia version of him was already long gone, cut out of his head with a scalpel, and discarded as medical waste.

She tentatively put her hand on Reid's shoulder and sat down on the chair beside the bed. "Hey" she said again in a soft voice, "Baby cakes, can you open your eyes?"

Reids eyes slowly began to flutter open and he gave a low moan as he registered his discomfort and how woozy he felt. He slowly brought his eyes into focus and looked up at Garcia with a pained half-smile. "...Cia… I feel weird…" he whispered in a hoarse voice, squirming a little and grimacing in pain.

" I know, sweetie" she soothed.

"Mrrrrmmmmm…." he moaned, screwing his face up and gripping Garcia's hand a little too hard. "My head h-hurts!"

" I know" she sighed, wincing a little at his tight hold on her hand. "Sweetie" she coaxed, "Look at me? ...Can you tell me what your name is honey?"

He looked at her a little quizzically but winced again as he tried to shift a little. "My... uh... my name's Spen... Spencer... R-Reid" he said, coughing out the last word.

"Good!" she cried, smiling from ear to ear, "That's exactly right, my little genius pumpkin pie!"

He tried to return the smile but grimaced, when he felt the skin pulling on his scalp. "It really hurts, Garcia!" he moaned, as he allowed his eyes to slip shut, "I feel l-like s-someone cracked my h-head like a ... a wal... a walnut..." He opened his eyes a little again and looked up at Emily. "Wh...what ha...ppened?!" he asked, "Why does it all... all h-hurt so much?!"

"I'll get the doctor" said Emily, patting Reid's shoulder and nodding at Garcia with tears in her eyes. "They'll get you some more pain relief, Reid."

"NO!" he shouted, "Don't want... no morph..."

"Don't worry" she assured him, "No narcotics. They know."

With that, she ran out the door. She was so excited. She had to go and get Hotch immediately! Reid had recognised Garcia, and with those two little words, 'Spencer Reid', they'd already got their answer! This was the real Reid! The surgery had been successful and the real Reid was back for good. The man that they all loved was really back!

She ran out to the waiting area to get Hotch. "He's awake!" she called out excitedly when she saw that Rossi and JJ had arrived, "And he knows who he is!" She was grinning like a maniac and almost skipping.

They turned to look at her, but her face fell and she stopped in her tracks when she saw the expressions on the others' faces. They looked anything but happy. She could see that JJ had even been crying.

"What's wrong?" she asked as she approached cautiously.

Hotch turned to look at her with haunted eyes. "He's gone" he said, with a voice that was almost shaking.

"Who...who is?!" she asked, her heart already thumping.

"Morgan" said JJ, choking out a sob, "Someone's taken him!"

"We found his car" explained Rossi, with a grim expression, "There were signs of a struggle... He must have put up a hell of a fight. There's blood everywhere..."

"So much blood!" grimaced JJ, "I don't even want to think..."

"Not enough to be fatal" corrected Rossi, "But he's hurt bad... From the splatter, I'd guess he was shot at close range... He'd need medical attention... and fast."

"Oh god!" gasped Emily, still unable to take it in, "When?!"

"Age of the blood suggests yesterday afternoon" said Rossi, "So, the Unsub's got a good start on us..."

"You really think he could have survived it?" asked Emily.

"Well, he isn't at the scene" he replied, "So, unless this Unsub has a thing for dead bodies, I'd put my money on him being alive immediately following the attack, and long enough for him to be dragged to another vehicle. He fought him all the way, even managed to knock the asshole off his feet for a moment. We've got CSI working the foot prints and the tyre tracks... This guy left us a nice set of prints... right in the blood..."

Hotch grimaced a little. That was his agent's blood they were talking about, and it had happened on his watch. Again. They needed to get him back, and soon!

"So, yeah" continued Rossi, "I think the Unsub probably patched our boy up yesterday, enough so he can do whatever it is he has planned for him..."

JJ shuddered.

"This doesn't fit the MO of our current case..." said Hotch, "A violent abduction in broad daylight, with no clear link to any kind of brainwashing or mild altering substances. None of the other victims were even reported missing. There was nothing that pointed to abductions... No blood splattered cars left in their wake... They disappeared seemingly of their own accord, only to return a few weeks later with a bomb strapped to their chests and a mission to take as many people with them when they went. This is different. It feels like a completely unrelated Unsub? Maybe his targeting Morgan was completely random..."

"I'd have to agree" nodded Rossi, " It just doesn't feel like the same guy."

"So, right now" sighed Hotch, "I'm inclined to think it's more likely we're looking at two separate Unsubs?"

"Probably... Or maybe they're a team?" suggested Emily, "And a different one did the abducting this time? Made it a lot messier?"

"We can't rule it out" said Rossi "Anything is possible."

"One really weird thing" said JJ, "There were a whole bunch of feathers on the ground when we found the car. Like big grey feathers, all soaked in... in um..." She grimaced a little, feeling reluctant to finish the sentence. "They were... in um... in Morgan's blood..." she finally managed.

Nooooo!"cried Garcia, from down the hallway. She'd just been standing there listening in silent shock, but the words 'Morgan's blood' had shaken her out of her stupor. "No, no, no, no, no...!" She fell to her knees and began to hyperventilate.

"Garcia?" said Hotch, making his way over to her, " You need to calm down... Take deep breaths... We'll find him, I promise you that..."

"No, no, no!" she sobbed, before looking up at him with big scared eyes, "You don't understand... The... the feath... feathers..."

"What about the feathers?" asked Rossi, as he approached her with one eyebrow raised in interest.

"At... all... all the b-bombsites..." she stammered, "Ev-every single one... I didn't know what to make of it, I only noticed it yesterday, but with everything... everything going on with Reid, I forgot to tell you..."

What about the feathers?" repeated Hotch, looking a little unimpressed.

She took a big breath before continuing. "At all the bombsites" she said, "All around the... the remains of the... I guess the 'victim'? ...They didn't think it was important because the bombers have nearly all used derelict buildings where there are a lot of pigeons, so they thought it was just natural contamination... but then they found them in the ruins of that busy diner in Maryland... and there couldn't have been any pigeons in there... Sir, all the crime scenes, and I mean ALL of them, have been covered in feathers..."


End file.
